Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Where were we? .... Oh, right!

In my last post (before I so rudely went back to work and got too busy to write to you) I mentioned that things had been too busy over the holidays for my parents to talk to me about my "issue" (the fact that I'm into men and not chicks). Well I may have jumped the gun just a tad. Sitting in the passenger seat of a car tends to make one a captive audience for the driver. I almost managed to make it through the holidays without the topic coming up but then I found myself alone in the car with my Dad on the way to the airport. It wasn't as bad as it could have been. He basically just said that he hopes I continue to consider what we discussed this past summer and now that I am out on my own I need to make my own decisions. He said based on what desicions I make I can either be happy or miserable. In my head I was thinking that if I made the decision he wanted me to it would have the opposite affect than what he was saying would happen. I could cite countless examples where this is the case.

In other news, I made it back to Calgary in one piece although I did have to sit with the peasants for the return trip and my snowboard didn't make the flight. I survived and my snowboard arrived the next day so everything is good. I have also moved into my new place. Saturday Jeff and Doug helped me move. I've never driven a large truck before so driving the Uhaul was fun. I think Doug was a little nervous riding shotgun. It probably didn't help that I told him I had gone through a red light earlier in the morning. Ooops! Jeff arrived in time to supervise the finishing touches of the packing and then we were off to Sunnyside. I wasn't sure what I thought of the place when I saw it empty but now that I've moved in it feels much homier than my last place. It's in a much nicer neighborhood and as Reid mentioned I can walk to work. Although, it takes 25 minutes not 15 like he said but I used to have a 1/2 hour bus ride anyways. The walk goes right through Prince's Island park and is really nice but I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. Right now Calgary is sitting at 1C (34F). By tomorrow evening it is supposed to be -20C (-4F) with a windchill of -35C (-31F). I think I'll pull out my extra mittens and wear the toque with the ear flaps tomorrow.


Blogger CanaGal said...

Hey Mr. BB, if you ever want to talk about the familial problems, me & hubby Sean might be able to help a bit, as we are bible college drop outs, y'know. If you wanna get in touch, get our coordinates from skybar.

1/11/07, 11:06 AM  
Blogger Reid Dalgleish said...

The convo with Dad sounds very familiar. There's no doubt that they only want you to be happy, but you have to keep in mind that a state of miserableness is, in their mind, part of the stereotype of being gay and they can't disassociate that from the definition. They can't understand that you would BE miserable if you had to repress/ignore your true feelings and in the long run, this is not the right path to take. There are millions before you that have tried it that way only to find that it was a complete failure meanwhile they frittered away how many more years of their lives? Life's too short for good intentions. At any rate, you're a bright boy and you have a very good handle on how things really are and understand that in the context of your parents' interpretation of things they are giving you the best advice they have. Being gay is a concept more foreign to them than anything, but trust me, over time (maybe a long time), they will come to realize that what you are doing is a brave, respectable thing and it may even alter more fundamental values they have, or at least bring some of their values into question. The fact that you still have a good relationship with them is a HUGE first step. I've found that since I've come out it took a very long time for my parents to make sense of the gay thing, but now they realize that it is what it is, I'm much better off personally and I'm even closer to them now than I was before because I'm not hiding anything or deceiving them of anything anymore. It's all good! It just takes time and lots of patience.

1/11/07, 2:13 PM  
Blogger Matty said...

CG: Thanks for the offer. I might take you up on that offer sometime. My parent's acknowledge that everyone has to make their own decisions so while they might not be happy about it I don't see them disowning me either. The area where I foresee problems is if I ever reach the point where I'm wanting to include a partner in family activities.

Reid: Thanks for the encouragement. It helps to know that a happy ending is possible.

1/11/07, 10:25 PM  

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