Just kiddng...
Sorry about the lack of posting. My calendar has been a tad fuller as of late. With the new smoking ban in affect, going to the bar is much more enjoyable. The last several weekends the clan has been making an appearance on the gay scene here in Calgary. So far I've found it very educational. Some of the - how shall I put this? - "more seasoned" members of the clan have been around the what passes for a scene here in Calgary for a while now so they have lots of stories and they're very protective of me. (I appreciate this but being protective can border on cock blocking).
"Oh my, there's 'name'. (insert sideways glance and eyeroll) He's Russian and they say he has a big cock."
"But stay away from him. He'll sleep with anything that has a hole."
"There goes 'so and so'."
"Didn't you sleep with him"
"Yeah"
"Is it true he's 'small'."
"Surprisingly"
"Like the size of the neck of a beer bottle?"
"Smaller"
"No!"
"Ooo, he's hot"
"Yeah but he's a bottom. Why are all the hot ones bottoms?"
Ahh yes. It's the only way to do a gay bar. You have to bring your own commentators along for the play by play (my apologies for the sports analogy).
Things are starting to pick up at work too with the tax season approaching. Tomorrow I have Doug and Jeff crayoned in for lunch and in the evening I'm going for cocktails with the firm's pride group. The head of the firm's pride committee is in town from Toronto so we're taking him out. Nothing planned for Thursday yet but my sinuses are producing mucous at an alarming rate so I should probably take it easy and get some rest. Friday I am on a course all day and then have a function at my boss's house. Then comes the weekend. I don't think I have any plans yet. I really shoud look into getting a personal assistant. All of the other celeberties have them. Ugg! I just realized it's only Tuesday. Oh well. Hope everyone has a happy hump day.
"Oh my, there's 'name'. (insert sideways glance and eyeroll) He's Russian and they say he has a big cock."
"But stay away from him. He'll sleep with anything that has a hole."
"There goes 'so and so'."
"Didn't you sleep with him"
"Yeah"
"Is it true he's 'small'."
"Surprisingly"
"Like the size of the neck of a beer bottle?"
"Smaller"
"No!"
"Ooo, he's hot"
"Yeah but he's a bottom. Why are all the hot ones bottoms?"
Ahh yes. It's the only way to do a gay bar. You have to bring your own commentators along for the play by play (my apologies for the sports analogy).
Things are starting to pick up at work too with the tax season approaching. Tomorrow I have Doug and Jeff crayoned in for lunch and in the evening I'm going for cocktails with the firm's pride group. The head of the firm's pride committee is in town from Toronto so we're taking him out. Nothing planned for Thursday yet but my sinuses are producing mucous at an alarming rate so I should probably take it easy and get some rest. Friday I am on a course all day and then have a function at my boss's house. Then comes the weekend. I don't think I have any plans yet. I really shoud look into getting a personal assistant. All of the other celeberties have them. Ugg! I just realized it's only Tuesday. Oh well. Hope everyone has a happy hump day.
posted by Matty at 11:36 PM
9 Comments:
Oh WHO are we cockblocking you from? The weirdo that talks to himself? Go right ahead and approach him if you want. But don't come crying when he feeds you cocaine or something, or wants you to pet his imaginary friend
And I think the exact words that were used for the Russian ( the one with the big lips right? ) was "He's as dumb as a fucking two by four and he'll sleep with anything that has a hole"
Hmmm... Matty, I don't think Jeff understands why that description isn't exactly all negative.
Anyway, it seems like, if you have friends to hang with, then an occasional night out on your own might make you feel less cock-blocked.
Nothing like finding out some guy's a scary SOB all on your very own.
Hmmm...dude. Sorry I pulled a no-show Saturday. I would really like to meet you, at some point.
But that Russian, with the big lips, snorting cocaine off my "pet" unicorn stuffed-animal with the big hole, was it the unicorn or me with the big hole? Doesn't matter. It was, in fact, me.
Awwww...you're getting indoctrinated into the Gay World.
I.Love.It.
UGH!!! I know who you are talking about the muscle head with the big lips. He is such a freak. He reminds me of a deer in the headlights. Friggin stunned at all times.
It appears gay bars in Calgary are no different than gay bars in Pensacola or San Francisco.
Matt, just LOOK at all the comments. It seems when you add some flair about your experiences here in Cowtown, everyone can appreciate it. Gay life, it's universal everywhere, I think.
You, you're fired!
Yes, Matt. Appreciate the pre-filtering that goes on before the men get to you! It will save you a lot of time. Trust me -- the gay bar is NOT the place to find quality meat. Calgary is slim pickings to begin with! LOL
Maybe the non-smoking thing will bring out better quality organic meat rather than the smoked meat types?
How was the Outgames thing at Ceili's last weekend?
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