Mr. Blue Bug

Lazy Hazy Summer Days.

2007-07-02T23:25:00.000-06:00

I've been feeling kind of lazy lately. I've mainly been sitting and flipping channels. For some reason I seemed to keep stopping on Who Wants to be a Millionaire. I don't normally watch this show so I can't possibly think why I would stop on this channel.

Maybe now that Meridith's back I'll put the remote down and head outside for some excercise or at least something besides sitting on the couch.

Only Two More Sleeps!

2007-06-18T19:03:00.001-06:00

Only two more sleeps until the Calgary clan starts their journey to the gay mecca! I think it might be starting to sink in that I'm going and the excitement is starting to grow (I usually try to maintain a modicum of composure).

Only four more sleeps until the blogger summit and I can put live faces to the pictures, words, and voices I've been following. Still a mixture of nervousness and excitement about this one.

Holy Crap!

2007-06-05T23:03:00.000-06:00

Of all the nights to work late! If I had of left on time I could have had a lovely sunny walk home. Instead I decided to put in a few extra hours so I don't have to come in this weekend. Sometime between normal quitting time and when I decided to head home the heavens opened wide. I almost looked around to see if I could see an ark anywhere.

The walk home wasn't too bad starting out but by the time I was halfway through prince's island park, things were starting to get a little soggy. When I got closer to home some of the roads were flooded. My car was fine but some of my neighbors might not be so lucky. I couldn't tell for sure but it looked like the water was up over the door sills on some of the cars. I figured it was just a bit of water and I got a little wet. No big deal. That was until I watched the news. Apparently city officials are on the verge of declaring an unofficial emergency (what's an unofficial emergency). There's flooding everywhere. Parts of the freeway are even shut down. And the lightning that I wasn't overly worried about being struck by? At least two houses were hit. One was up in flames. Looking back on the situation, I probably should have called a cab.

Nothing much to report

2007-05-30T22:29:00.000-06:00

The end of April came and went and nothing happened. It was suppose to be the end of long hours and working weekends but an increased work load compared to last year and no extra staff means that I'm still working like a dog.

Inspite of that I'm still finding time to have a bit of fun on the weekends. I met up with the guys Friday night for the Fairytales film fest. The movie was "Outing Riley". In a nutshell it was about a guy coming out to his siblings after his parents have passed away and how they react. He had two older brothers, a younger brother, and a younger sister. Somehow that seems vaguely familiar. Saturday we finally made it to an ARGRA dance. We've planned on going before but always seemed to end up staying in or heading to the club. As Jeff mentioned we're not so hot on Twisted at the moment so we actually made it to the dance this time. When we first got there we weren't sure what we had gotten ourselves into. Being a gay rodeo dance they were playing country music but after a couple songs they started playing more dance music. Seeing two guys two stepping around the floor was kind of neat but I probably won't run out and start taking lessons. We were all relieved to learn they still had a buffet. We had heard rumors that they didn't anymore. I really enjoyed the dance. The atmosphere was more relaxed than the club and sometimes it's fun to just have a night out with your friends without assessing every guy that walks by on his potential.
Hopefully work will slow down soon so I can try some of this work/life balance thing that so many people talk about these days. At least the trip to SF is cooming up soon so I'll have a break then. I'm also heading home in July for my brother's wedding although I might get recruited to help wih preparations but it will still be a break from taxes.

Silly Americans

2007-05-07T22:36:00.000-06:00

When I read this I just had to share. Sometimes it's just too easy.

Canada's poppy quarters caused sensational warnings of 'spy coins' in U.S.

Mon May 7, 4:49 PM

By Ted Bridis

WASHINGTON (AP) - An odd-looking Canadian quarter with a bright red flower was the culprit behind a false espionage warning from the U.S. Defense Department about mysterious coins with radio frequency transmitters, The Associated Press has learned.
The harmless "poppy quarter" was so unfamiliar to suspicious U.S. army contractors travelling in Canada that they filed confidential espionage accounts about them. The worried contractors described the coins as "filled with something man-made that looked like nano-technology," according to once-classified U.S. government reports and e-mails obtained by the AP.
The silver-coloured 25-cent piece features the red image of a poppy, Canada's flower of remembrance, inlaid over a maple leaf. The unorthodox quarter is identical to the coins pictured and described as suspicious in the contractors' accounts.
The supposed nano-technology on the coin actually was a protective coating the Royal Canadian Mint applied to prevent the poppy's red colour from rubbing off. The mint produced nearly 30 million such quarters in 2004 commemorating Canada's 117,000 war dead.
"It did not appear to be electronic (analog) in nature or have a power source," wrote one U.S. contractor, who discovered the coin in the cup holder of a rental car. "Under high power microscope, it appeared to be complex consisting of several layers of clear, but different material, with a wire-like mesh suspended on top."
The confidential accounts led to a sensational warning from the Defense Security Service, an agency of the Defense Department, that mysterious coins with radio frequency transmitters were found planted on U.S. contractors with classified security clearances on at least three separate occasions between October 2005 and January 2006 as the contractors travelled through Canada.
"We'll have a good laugh over it," said John Regitko, who writes a newsletter for a leading coin-collecting organization, the Canadian Numismatic Association. "We never suspected there was such a thing (as spy coins) anyway."
Regitko predicted the quarter will become especially popular among collectors because of its infamy as the culprit behind the spy warning, despite the quarter's wide availability. "Everybody has some in their drawer at home," he said.
One contractor believed someone had placed two of the quarters in an outer coat pocket after the contractor had emptied the pocket hours earlier. "Coat pockets were empty that morning and I was keeping all of my coins in a plastic bag in my inner coat pocket," the contractor wrote.
The Defense Department subsequently acknowledged it could never substantiate the espionage warning, but until now it has never disclosed the details behind the embarrassing episode.
In Canada, senior intelligence officials had expressed annoyance with the American spy-coin warnings as they tried to learn more about the oddball claims.
"That story about Canadians planting coins in the pockets of defence contractors will not go away," Luc Portelance, now deputy director for the Canadian Security Intelligence Service, wrote in a January e-mail to a subordinate. "Could someone tell me more? Where do we stand and what's the story on this?"
Others in Canada's spy service also were searching for answers. "We would be very interested in any more detail you may have on the validity of the comment related to the use of Canadian coins in this manner," another intelligence official wrote in an e-mail. "If it is accurate, are they talking industrial or state espionage? If the latter, who?" The identity of the e-mail's recipient was censored.
Intelligence and technology experts were flabbergasted over the warning when it was first publicized earlier this year. The warning suggested that such transmitters could be used surreptitiously to track the movements of people carrying the coins.
"I thought the whole thing was preposterous, to think you could tag an individual with a coin and think they wouldn't give it away or spend it," said H. Keith Melton, a leading intelligence historian.
But Melton said the army contractors properly reported their suspicions. "You want contractors or any government personnel to report anything suspicious," he said. "You can't have the potential target evaluating whether this was an organized attack or a fluke."
The Defense Security Service disavowed its warning about spy coins after an international furor. The United States said it never substantiated the contractors' claims and performed an internal review to determine how the false information was included in a 29-page published report about espionage concerns.
The Defense Security Service never examined the suspicious coins, spokeswoman Cindy McGovern said. "We know where we made the mistake," she said. "The information wasn't properly vetted. While these coins aroused suspicion, there ultimately was nothing there."
A numismatist consulted by the AP, Dennis Pike of Canadian Coin & Currency near Toronto, quickly matched a grainy image and physical descriptions of the suspect coins in the contractors' confidential accounts to the 25-cent poppy piece.
"It's not uncommon at all," Pike said. He added that the coin's protective coating glows peculiarly under ultraviolet light. "That may have been a little bit suspicious," he said.
Some of the U.S. documents the AP obtained were classified "Secret/Noforn," meaning they were never supposed to be viewed by foreigners, even the United States' closest allies. The government censored parts of the files, citing national security reasons, before turning over copies under the U.S. Freedom of Information Act.
Nothing in the documents, except the reference to nanotechnology, explained how the contractors' accounts evolved into a full-blown warning about spy coins with radio frequency transmitters. Many passages were censored, including the names of contractors and details about where they worked and their projects.
But there were indications the accounts should have been taken lightly. Next to one blacked-out sentence was this warning: "This has not been confirmed as of yet."
The Canadian intelligence documents, which also were censored, were turned over to the AP for $5 under Canada's Access to Information Act. Canada cited rules for protecting against subversive or hostile activities to explain why it censored the papers.
-
Associated Press writer Beth Duff-Brown contributed to this story from Toronto.

And these are the people that are supposed to be protecting the free world? These coins were in general circulation. I can't believe they didn't notice receiving them when they got change at every convenience store. What did the they think? The Canadian Security Intelligence Service (CSIS) was posting operatives in stores just so we could plant spy gear on US agents? I think we have better things to do with our time.
(I hope RD aka Mitch doesn't mind me stealing his format)

Whatever will be...

2007-04-10T00:49:00.000-06:00

I have a new theme song. Darin said it reminded him of me so he sent it to me. After listening to it, I have to say I agree.

Like everyone I do have occasional doubts but I generally have a rosy outlook on life. So while someday I'd like to find this:

I realize that it might not happen tomorrow. Another song that describes my attitude towards life is Que Sera Sera so while I'm waiting for that to happen I'll enjoy some of this:

or maybe this:

I think I will make it afterall.

I wonder?

2007-03-20T22:55:00.000-06:00

Chad posted some videos today that got me thinking. I laughed at them too but something Cohen, the guy in the videos, said caught my attention. Usually when you hear ex-gay movement you immediately think of the religious right. In his interview though, Cohen asserts that being gay is a choice and that if you want to live that way great but he shouldn't be forced to live that way if he chooses not to. While the religious right would definitely agree that it is a choice they are in complete disagreement with Cohen about what choices are acceptable. This raised some questions because being from a religious background I always assumed that the only reasons not to be gay were moral ones. But Cohen doesn't make that claim. Instead he says that he just knew that it wasn't right for him (and by right I mean correct vs. incorrect not good vs. evil)

To consider this fully I started at the beginning. Is being gay a choice or are we born that way? Personally, I don't think that being gay is a choice the same way that picking a major in college is. I just don't see any evidence to support this. How many people do you know that have said "I'm tired of being straight. I think I'll be gay from now on (or at least until I change my mind again)." Not very many. Instead you see people saying "Why am I gay? I don't want to be this way." Usually this is due to the stigma associated with homosexuality. So the only option left is that people are born gay right? Not necessarily. I think the answer is both. I think the reason that science hasn't given us any definitive answers is because there are different causes of homosexuality.

I happen to believe that I was born this way. As far back as I can remember, I have always related better with girls. I played dolls and house with my sister and cousins, in elementary school my best friends were girls, and as an adult I find it very awkward trying to interact with straight guys in social settings. There are also things about me that fit in with some of the research. My mother was in a car accident when she was pregnant with me which some studies suggest may have exposed me to different levels of hormones inutero and therefore affecting my sexuality. I am the third of four boys. Some studies have found a correlation between birth order and incidence of homosexuality. I am also left handed. Left handedness is higher among the gay population suggesting a genetic link.

While it may be true that I was born gay, does that mean that everyone that is gay is born that way? I don't think so. Take a look at allergies for example. Some are caused by a genetic predisposition, others are environmental and some are even caused by traumatic events. I think homosexuality is the same. Some (probably most) are born that way however I believe other people can become that way for various reasons, some of which may involve a traumatic event. This is where I think choosing to be gay occurs. The choice isn't whether or not to be gay, it's whether or not to stop being gay.

This leads me to my next conclusion. If some people become gay because of some influence on them in their past then theoretically, addressing this issue in some way (reparative therapy) would cause them to cease being gay. The problem with this is that the religious right tries to apply this to all gays because they assume that being gay is a sin and so there must be some way of fixing it. I think many of the problems in our world are caused by people taking a one-sided approach to things and not keeping an open mind. If we as homosexuals can't be open to the possibility that reparative therapy may work for some individuals then we're no better than the extreme right who say those that can't change aren't trying hard enough. If someone is born gay then that is who they are. It's an inherent part of their make up and I don't think they can change. At the same time, if someone is molested as a child and their whole mental , emotional and sexual development is destroyed then they may develop same-sex attraction. I believe that therapy to deal with these issues would result in them reverting back to their original sexual orientation.

While I may find Cohen's methods unorthodox, if he is able to accept that some people are happy being gay then I must accept that some people choose not to be. I do hope that Cohen considers the origins of homosexuality in the men that come to him for help and why they want to change because I do believe that attempts at changing someone who is born gay will only end in pain and suffering.

Luck O' the Irish

2007-03-18T13:50:00.000-06:00

Well it would appear that my blog has gone from daily posts to weekly posts to now monthly posts. Unfortunately when one works in tax your free time is effectively nil from mid-February to at least the end of April. It also doesn't provide much fodder for blog posts. Unless of course you're interested in foreign income exclusions, s.216 returns, treaty tie breaker rules and other exciting tidbits.

So instead I thought that in honor of St. Patrick's day I would share some Irish sayings with you (and some hotties of course).

Here's to you and here's to me,

I pray that friends we'll always be,

But if by chance we disagree,The heck with you and here's to me!

May the roof above us never fall in.And may the friends gathered below it never fall out.

Here's to lying, stealing, and cheating!

May you lie to save a friend;

May you steal the heart of the one you love;

and may you cheat death.

Dance as if no one's watching, sing as if no one's listening, and live everyday as if it were your last.

Ugly (part 2)

2007-02-17T10:13:00.000-07:00

I watched Ugly Betty again on Thursday night. Last week Jeff emailed me during the show (Ugly part 1) so this week I emailed him.

Matt said:
It says VIP
Wow I've never even been an IP

Jeff said:
Do I have too?
Yes
Well I guess I better start eating potatoes.

Matt said:
Don't dance near the guy with his hand under his coat.

Jeff said:
The chin is all about justice.

The bandaid in the bowl turned me off.

Two weeks ago that idiot didn't even walk upright.

Jeff said:
Have we met?
We're not even meeting now!
----------------------
I liked the part where Betty's nephew breaks into a one man show of Hairspray on the subway to catch his very straight homophobic father up on the show because they're running late.

I've been noticing lately that there seems to be more acceptance of gays in the media. For a while now there have been gay characters in sitcoms and movies which mostly protray gay stereotypes and people don't seem to mind it. They may even allow themselves to laugh at the humour. But recently I've noticed that there have been gay couples on reality shows. A couple of weeks ago I was watching the news on Radio-Canada (the French CBC) and they had a peice on same-sex parenting. Granted the couple featured were francophones living in SF but the fact that it was on the primary news network for French speaking Canada was impressive. Then around the same time a caught an episode of Your Money or Your Wife that featured a gay couple. The show is about couples going through financial trouble because one of them has very poor money skills and teaches them how to deal with their debt and live within their means. Just today I caught an episode of Clean Sweep that also featured a gay couple. The show did nothing to hide the fact that they were living together and slept in the same bed. The rooms that were redone were the master bedroom and the home office. I find this encouraging because it normalizes being gay. These are real life people living together in a relationship and struggling with the same issues that every other couple struggles with (money and clutter).
The "gay population" seems to be going through a generational shift. Some are starting to question the value of becoming normal. They like being unique or "queer". On the one hand I can understand this. As being gay becomes less of an issue the gay villages start breaking up becuase it's no longer as important to live in close proximity to other gay people and with this comes a decrease in the sense of community that gays share. But on the other hand, this sense of normalcy and acceptance is what those that have gone before us have strived for. If we turn our backs on this then does that make all the suffering and abuse they endured worthless? One imortant aspect of this trend to me is an increased sense of security. Having only recently started going out on the scene (such that it is), I mentioned to Jeff that I was beginning to understand the importance of gay bars. It's a place where you can be yourself. It might be nice to go to different clubs but you just can't let yourself go completely there. You just never know if some straight redneck, indoctrinated by the AFA, is going to see you get a little too close to your BF and then be waiting for you outside later. Even if a sociopath did go to the gay bar the odds that you would be targeted are greatly diminished because you're surrounded by gay people.
To me, a loss of community is a small price to pay for my personal safety outside the gay ghetto. Besides, what's wrong with a house in the 'burbs with 2.5 kids?

Just kiddng...

2007-02-06T23:36:00.000-07:00

Sorry about the lack of posting. My calendar has been a tad fuller as of late. With the new smoking ban in affect, going to the bar is much more enjoyable. The last several weekends the clan has been making an appearance on the gay scene here in Calgary. So far I've found it very educational. Some of the - how shall I put this? - "more seasoned" members of the clan have been around the what passes for a scene here in Calgary for a while now so they have lots of stories and they're very protective of me. (I appreciate this but being protective can border on cock blocking).

"Oh my, there's 'name'. (insert sideways glance and eyeroll) He's Russian and they say he has a big cock."
"But stay away from him. He'll sleep with anything that has a hole."

"There goes 'so and so'."
"Didn't you sleep with him"
"Yeah"
"Is it true he's 'small'."
"Surprisingly"
"Like the size of the neck of a beer bottle?"
"Smaller"
"No!"

"Ooo, he's hot"
"Yeah but he's a bottom. Why are all the hot ones bottoms?"

Ahh yes. It's the only way to do a gay bar. You have to bring your own commentators along for the play by play (my apologies for the sports analogy).

Things are starting to pick up at work too with the tax season approaching. Tomorrow I have Doug and Jeff crayoned in for lunch and in the evening I'm going for cocktails with the firm's pride group. The head of the firm's pride committee is in town from Toronto so we're taking him out. Nothing planned for Thursday yet but my sinuses are producing mucous at an alarming rate so I should probably take it easy and get some rest. Friday I am on a course all day and then have a function at my boss's house. Then comes the weekend. I don't think I have any plans yet. I really shoud look into getting a personal assistant. All of the other celeberties have them. Ugg! I just realized it's only Tuesday. Oh well. Hope everyone has a happy hump day.

Fine! I'll post!

2007-02-06T23:35:00.001-07:00

There are you happy! I made a post.

Gladys Hardy on The Ellen DeGeneres Show

2007-01-29T17:42:00.001-07:00

Ok this is starting to get annoying! Can anyone tell my why my youtube posts might be disappearing? The video is still on youtube and I was able to repost it and it was showing up for a while but then it just dissappeared. GRRR!

Gladys Hardy on The Ellen DeGeneres Show

2007-01-24T00:21:00.001-07:00

This was too funny not to share. I hope I'm that witty when I'm 88.

Update: Due to technical difficulties I have been forced to repost the youtube clip in the next post. (Although a little work never hurt anybody, Reid.)

The Alphabet According to Me

2007-01-21T13:31:00.000-07:00

I got this from my friend A. I know they make their way around the web every now and then but it's kind of a fun way to share some stuff about yourself.

A-available or single? – available - I think I'm ready.
B-best friend - from back home - AEBB, here - Jeff
C-cake or pie? – hmm? How about one of each? ok ok cake if it's a birthday, pie for thanksgiving and christmas.
D-drink of choice? - orange juice for breakfast, water or Frutopia Tangerine Wavelength juice for other meals, cocktail - cosmopolitan
E-essential item I use everyday? – well toothbrush is a given (I hope) after that probably my laptop to stay in touch with the world.
F-favorite color? - Blue and it's complimentary colour orange
G-gummy bears or gummy worms? – hmm? another tough one. Many of my choices for food and entertainment are influenced by my mood at the time.
H-hometown- Nauwigewauk, NB although I don't think it even qualifies as a village.
I-indulgence – neck ties, and others that are common to all men.
J-January or February? – January– still high from Christmas time and the relief from the slowed down pace. By the time February comes I'm so over winter but we still have to endure at the very least another month of it but most likely two.
K-kids and names? I don't have any (yet) but I like the names Owen and Emma
L-life is incomplete without? – human contact
M-marriage date? – not yet but someday (maybe)
N-number of siblings? – 4, 3 brothers 1 sister (I'm the middle child)
O-oranges or apples? - Oranges
P-phobias or fears – heights, snakes and walking alone in the woods after dark.
Q-favorite quote? – "The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well." This quote is laid in the stone of the plaza by Eau Claire market and I walk over it every day on my way to work.
R-reasons to smile? – An unexpected email or phone call from a friend
S-season? - Summer
T-tag 3 or 4 people – If you want to, do. If you don't, don't.
U-unknown fact about me? – Wouldn't you like to know!
V-vegetable you don't like? – brussle sprouts
W-worst habit? – Where do I begin? Indecissiveness, procrastination, overly analytical...
Y-your favorite food? – How can you ask me to pick just one? Turkey dinner, lasagna, ruffles with french onion dip, chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream....
Z-zodiac? - According to my date of birth, I am an Aries. I don't think I fit the typical description of an Aries though. I think my meyers-briggs description, ISTP, is more accurate.

A post to post

2007-01-14T20:29:00.000-07:00

I need to do a post so that the first thing you see isn't a female posterior. I find it off putting as I'm sure most of my audience does as well. My apologies to those of you that are into that but I'm sure you'll understand.

I was pacing around my two room apartment trying to think of something to post when I noticed that I hadn't updated my left-hander's calendar that A gave me for Christmas. It's one of those page-a-day calendars and has a tidbit about left-handedness for each day of the year.
Scientific studies have found that the prevalence of left-handedness is higher among both homosexual men and women. I've found this to be true from personal experience as well. A large portion of the local clan are lefty's. Jeff is and he said while in San Fran he experienced this as well. While partaking of some Californian produce it was revealed that everyone present was not only gay but also left-handed. This list included Jeff and Doug as well as Darin and Chad. The apparent significance of this revelation was undoubtedly augmented by the fact that they were in the middle of a prayer session.

It would appear that us left-handers are in good company. According to my calendar for today, the last five generations of the British monarch have been left handed: Queen Victoria, King Edward VII, King George V, King George VI, and Queen Elizabeth II, as well as the next two heirs to the throne: Prince Charles and Prince William

Tomorrow, Americans will be observing Martin Luther King Jr day. He was left-handed too. This kind of makes me think that I should be accomplishing great things. I should probably start working on that.

Surprising Discoveries

2007-01-11T20:13:00.000-07:00

So the other day I'm finishing up unpacking after my move and I find one of these

(the thong not the chick) in the back of my closet. At first I thought "What the ...!" and then "Gross!" and then "ew!" as I realized that it probably meant there was some of this

going on in my room prior to my taking possession of it. I know it happens. I'd just rather not think about it. It's not as bad as a hotel though. At least I know the bed is mine. After a minute I realized there was another possible explanation. Being gay seems to have caused me to realize that not everything is as it seems so the presence of a thong left behind by a former male tenant could also mean this.

It is a women's size large from La Senza but you just never know. I'm trying not to think of the possibility that it could also mean this.

Excuse me while I go wash my eyes with bleach. I'm just going to stick with this interpretation.

I don't know about you but I'm quite happy living in ignorant bliss. Now I have to go add disposable gloves to the grocery list. Maybe I'll do some underwear shopping while I'm at it.

Where were we? .... Oh, right!

2007-01-09T20:41:00.000-07:00

In my last post (before I so rudely went back to work and got too busy to write to you) I mentioned that things had been too busy over the holidays for my parents to talk to me about my "issue" (the fact that I'm into men and not chicks). Well I may have jumped the gun just a tad. Sitting in the passenger seat of a car tends to make one a captive audience for the driver. I almost managed to make it through the holidays without the topic coming up but then I found myself alone in the car with my Dad on the way to the airport. It wasn't as bad as it could have been. He basically just said that he hopes I continue to consider what we discussed this past summer and now that I am out on my own I need to make my own decisions. He said based on what desicions I make I can either be happy or miserable. In my head I was thinking that if I made the decision he wanted me to it would have the opposite affect than what he was saying would happen. I could cite countless examples where this is the case.

In other news, I made it back to Calgary in one piece although I did have to sit with the peasants for the return trip and my snowboard didn't make the flight. I survived and my snowboard arrived the next day so everything is good. I have also moved into my new place. Saturday Jeff and Doug helped me move. I've never driven a large truck before so driving the Uhaul was fun. I think Doug was a little nervous riding shotgun. It probably didn't help that I told him I had gone through a red light earlier in the morning. Ooops! Jeff arrived in time to supervise the finishing touches of the packing and then we were off to Sunnyside. I wasn't sure what I thought of the place when I saw it empty but now that I've moved in it feels much homier than my last place. It's in a much nicer neighborhood and as Reid mentioned I can walk to work. Although, it takes 25 minutes not 15 like he said but I used to have a 1/2 hour bus ride anyways. The walk goes right through Prince's Island park and is really nice but I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. Right now Calgary is sitting at 1C (34F). By tomorrow evening it is supposed to be -20C (-4F) with a windchill of -35C (-31F). I think I'll pull out my extra mittens and wear the toque with the ear flaps tomorrow.

Happy Endings

2006-12-28T22:14:00.000-07:00

How was everyone's Christmas? Mine was good. As I suspected, we've been to busy to discuss my sexuality and the moral ramifications thereof. (Can you tell I've been hanging out with my friend A? Our vocabulary tends to be slightly pedantic - I learned that word from Kalvin). I only have two more days. Tomorrow will be spent getting ready to have friends over for a games night and then Saturday my parents have a wedding to attend and I fly out around supper time and get back to Calgary by 11:00 so there really isn't much time available to have discussions.
I went with A tonight to see The Holiday. I liked it but I tend to like sappy, romantic, happy ending movies. Cameron Diaz's character was poorly written. I didn't find her convining at all. Jude Lay was yummy in all his accented goodness. I don't recall him being quite so hirsute. I was trying to decide during one of the post bedroom scenes whether I found it attractive or not and I couldn't make up my mind. I guess it depends on the guy and the phase of the moon. Who knows?
In other news, you may recall that I was recently asked to vacate my apartment to make room for condos. I was able to look at a place a few hours before catching my flight to come home for Christmas and I got it. It's smaller than I have now but it's also less expensive and I won't have as long a commute to work. When the weather is nice I can probably even walk to work. Now I'm going to have to repack everything along with all the new stuff I just got and set it all back up again in the new place. When I get back on Sunday I have to meet up with the new landlord to pay him the deposit. I also need to remember to pick up some groceries as well as party supplies for Reid and Joe's NYE party. Hope everyone's doing well. I can't wait to get back to Calgary.

Safe and sound

2006-12-23T22:29:00.000-07:00

I arrived safely. I just thought I'd let you know because I knew you were worried.
The flights all went very smoothly. I got bumped to executive class on the Calgary to Toronto flight. I don't know if I'll be able to sit with the common folk ever again. Once one has had their water brought to them in a glass cup on a cloth napkin covered tray a plastic cup from the cart just won't do anymore.

I hope everyone is having a safe and happy holiday.

See you in the New Year.

2006-12-20T23:06:00.000-07:00

My bags are packed and I leave after work tomorrow for the east coast so I'll see you in the New Year.

Actually that might not be true. If you're here in Calgary I'll technically be back before New Years. If you're in the blogosphere then you might hear from me before New Years as well. My parents have wireless so I can safely blog from the comfort of my bedroom. It will just depend on wether I feel like it or not.

I had kind of hinted in previous posts that I was dealing with something and that I might blog about it. It's not really a huge deal but I've been having mixed feelings about going home for Christmas. I'm feeling some anxiety wondering if my parents are going to want to talk about the whole "gay thing". I'm hoping that we'll be too busy with family and visiting. My siblings don't know yet so my parents won't want to talk about it when they're around so that's kind of a good thing.

At the same time, I'm excited to see my nephews. This was taken last Christmas.

I used to hold the title of favourite uncle. Now I hope he remembers me. This year should be fun because he's more aware of things and can get excited. He turned two Yesterday.

He also has a little brother this year. He was only a month old when I moved so it will be interesting to see how he's grown and how his personality is developing.

Merry Christams everyone!

Aaaaarrrrgh!

2006-12-19T20:31:00.000-07:00

So much for that post I was telling you about. I stayed late at work to try and get some work done before I head back East for Christmas. Then when I got home there was a note under my door telling me that I have to move out by the end of March. I just moved in a month ago!!!! I knew they were going to be turning the building into condos because I stumbled across it on their website but when I asked about it I was told they didn't have any definite plans yet and that nothing would happen until late spring at the earliest. Last time I checked March was early spring not late spring! They are offering a move out bonus if we move out by the end of January so that's good. I want to do it then anyways because by the time March gets here I'll be right in the middle of tax season working 12 hours a day 6 days a week. It just ticks me off because I specifically asked about when they might be kicking people out to start renovations because I knew I would be busy in the spring. GRRRRR!!! I FEEL LIKE WRITING A HARSHLY WORDED EMAIL ALL IN CAPS!!!! But being the docile non-confrontationalist that I am, I won't.

I'm just lazy

2006-12-18T22:11:00.000-07:00

I've been having trouble posting lately so I found Atari's post on posting from Thursday quite interesting. I definitely don't put as much thought as he does into my posts. A big part of that is plain laziness. I had to laugh in University when we did the Meyers-Briggs personality type tests and mine came back with this description "ISTP's are often perceived as being lazy when in reality they are just being efficient by saving energy for meaningful tasks,". It's true that when I am doing a task I like to do it in the most efficient way I know how but that hardly excuses the fact that I'm lazy. Another reason I'm having trouble posting is I can't decide what to write about. When I started my blog it was more just to become a part of something. I had been reading other people's blogs for a while and didn't feel right about just lurking or posting random comments. I think people like to have an idea of who is posting comments on their blogs. A big part of blogging for me is reading other blogs. That's why I enjoy a wide variety. I like blogs that mostly recount daily happenings with a humorous twist for the entertainment value, I like blogs that delve into personal issues and histories because it helps me to understand other people better as well as myself, and I also like blogs that discuss issues because it makes me think about the bigger issues and consider different points of view. So one of the reasons I started blogging was because I felt it was only fair that I offer something for others to read. It might not be very good but at least I'm not just consuming without giving back.
The trouble with deciding what to write has to do with the different types of posts that one can write. I could write about daily occurrences but I'm a much better listener than storyteller. I don't find my life all that exciting or so I can just imagine what you would think. There's only so many times you can write about who fell asleep before whom while battling Apocalypse's forces with your mutant abilities. While I certainly enjoy hanging out playing PS2, it doesn't exactly make for a riveting post. I have a general interest in current political and sociological events so I could write about them but that would involve effort. Quite often I'll read something and will feel like writing a commentary on it but the article often isn't enough to base an entire post on. I like to have supporting documentation to support my opinion on the topic and that requires more work. This is where the ISTP part of me kicks in and says "You know, there really are more efficient ways of spending your time. Like reading other people's blogs,". The other option is to write about personal issues. This is problematic for two reasons. First, there's not very much history to tell (you're watching history in the making). And secondly, any issues that I am dealing with are still on going and I haven't reached any conclusions in my own mind let alone putting them in writing. That's another trait I have as an introvert. Introverts tend to analyze things internally and then share once a conclusion has been reached where extroverts tend to share and discuss as a way of reaching a conclusion.
Another reason I don't like writing a lot is because I tend to babble. Which is exactly what has happened here. What started out as an introduction has morphed into a full blown post. I'll have to write about what I was originally going to sometime this week.

I am like SO gay!

2006-12-11T20:02:00.000-07:00

If there was any doubt before it has been soundly squashed by this test (via Secret Simon via...). My inner straight dude is currently gagging on vomit. Basket of kittens! Widdle toesies!! Blech! I guess I'm only fooling myself when I tell people I don't do cute. Oh well. At least I'm not going around saying "Sup? From outa town?"

If you'll excuse me it's time for me to go sing along with little orphan Annie. The sun'll come out tomorrow....

Yay Internet!

2006-12-10T22:43:00.000-07:00

I have rejoined society. If you've been considering monkhood, I don't recommend it. Conversations with one's self tend to loose their appeal after about a week of solitude. On the other hand, not having internet or a TV does give you time to practise handstands in your living room.
As you can see I have acquired access to the internet. I didn't feel like posting from work but I did peak in on those of you who maintain relatively work safe blogs so I haven't been gone completely. I stopped at the postal outlet at the mall across the street on my way home from the Skybar Christmas bash to pick up my starter kit from my internet service provider. I have managed to get it set up and going (obviously) but I can't seem to get my wireless router to work so no blog reading on the can for now I guess.
Skybar's Christmas bash went off without a hitch (nothing broken that I'm aware of). This was my first so I have nothing to compare it too but it seemed like everyone had a good time and the food was fabulous. There was plenty of Christmas cheer being had by all (except for a few designated drivers), prayers were said, and even some carols were sung around the piano. Skybar managed to leave the vacuum cleaner away until after the guests had left but I'm told that the floors have been scrubbed, the dishes all done, and the bedding changed. I guess we'll just have to have another party. We wouldn't want a clean house to go to waste.
Well I must be getting to bed now. I can't be groggy at work. We're starting into year end deadlines for clients and the office is closed Christmas week so I have files to clear off my desk. Part of me can't believe that I've been there a month already and another part of me feels like it's been longer.

Home Alone

2006-11-24T17:58:00.000-07:00

The day has arrived. I will be sleeping in my own place startin tonight. I've been taking a few boxes at a time when I go over to clean or assemble furniture and tonight things are ready enough to move in. You're welcome to come over but I can't promise a good time. No tv, no internet, and no booze. I do have a couch to sit on though. Because I won't have internet for a little while I might not post for a bit and I won't be able to check email evenings and weekends. If you need to get in touch call my cell.
Time to go load some more stuff in the car. I need to make a stop at the grocery store and then I will be home. My very own home.

Personal Issues

2006-11-21T22:19:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I watched the movie Dazed and Confused at Skybar's place. I'm not sure what I thought about it. It wasn't your typical plot based movie. It was more about the interactions between the various characters. The movie basically follows a group of students through an all-night-end-of-school party. There were definitely some funny moments but I think the seniors beating the freshmen bothered me a bit. I just can't see how someone finds it enjoyable to craft your own paddle and then use it to beat the living daylights out of some kid three years your junior. These guys were really getting into it to the point where they seemed aroused. I guess I'm not cut out for the S & M crowd. Although, I did have a somewhat erotic dream that night. In my dream there was beating going on but instead of senior students beating up on younger kids it was gay bashing. The guys had paddles like in the movie and when one came after me I grabbed him by the throat and slammed him up against a wall and continued to cut of his air supply. I then started kissing him really heavily and I didn't ease off on his wind pipe until he stopped resisting. I think the thought going through my head was that if I could show him that guy on guy kissing wasn't as gross as he thought it was then maybe he would stop the gay bashing. Anyways, I can't remember what happened after that. I either woke up or my brain switched channels. I'm hoping that this doesn't mean that I might have some aggression issues simmering beneath the surface. 99% of the time when I feel this way it's directed at some form of bully so if you treat others fairly and with respect you have nothing to fear but if you're in the habit of picking on those less fortunate than you, you've been warned.

How's it goin' eh?

2006-11-19T22:44:00.000-07:00

I saw this on Darin's blog and being the curious person that I am, I decided to try it out for myself.

What American accent do you have? Your Result: North Central "North Central" is what professional linguists call the Minnesota accent. If you saw "Fargo" you probably didn't think the characters sounded very out of the ordinary. Outsiders probably mistake you for a Canadian a lot.
The West
The Midland
Boston
The Inland North
The South
Philadelphia
The Northeast
What American accent do you have? Take More Quizzes

Man! I hate it when people mistake me for a Canadian! Haha. I was a little skeptical at first when the quiz started out by asking my age and gender. What do those have to do with accent? But in the end it did come up with Canadian even though it was an American accent test so there must be some merit to it.

Political Reform?

2006-11-14T23:28:00.000-07:00

MP Garth Turner wants to take on the whole party system
Tue Nov 14, 6:32 PM
By Alexander Panetta
OTTAWA (CP) - Garth Turner is not just tearing up his Conservative membership card, he also hopes to lead a national revolt against traditional party politics.
The Ontario MP, who was turfed from the Tory caucus last month, held a news conference Tuesday to declare that he is done with his old party - and with all old-style parties.
Turner said the political system has become noticeably less democratic since he last sat in Parliament in 1993, with MPs now banned from voicing any opinion that strays from the government line.
Turner was dismissed by Tory brass as a loose cannon and kicked out caucus last month - just months after being elected in his Halton riding and weeks after being nominated to run in the next election.
He complained Tuesday that despite requests to senior Conservatives from his constituency executive, no evidence has been provided to back up the claim that he breached caucus confidentiality.
Now he says he wants to travel the country, introduce a private member's bill, and promote the idea that MPs should be free to speak their minds more often.
"Canada's new government is suddenly looking a lot like the old ones," Turner lamented.
"(It's) controlling power in Ottawa while it makes both voters and members of Parliament less relevant. . . But this is not just about the Conservative party. Sadly, they all work the same way."
He said he will remain one of two Independent MPs, along with Quebec's Andre Arthur.
And he's trying to recruit other disgruntled MPs - not just Conservatives - to sit in the House of Commons without any party affiliation. He says two MPs appear warm to the idea.
Turner plans to introduce a private member's bill that would extend the rights of Independent MPs and allow them to offer tax receipts for political donations.
He has also started a website dedicated to democratic reform - promiseskept.ca - and he plans to rack up plenty of frequent-flyer miles in the coming months.
"I will travel anywhere that people want to talk about democratic renewal, parliamentary reform, the role of our MPs and how citizens can get more involved to reclaim the system from the unrepentant, arrogant party bosses and the unelected backroom boys.
"We have to break this tedious cycle of electing politicians who sell us on change and deliver same old, same old."
The 57-year-old, who was first elected as a Brian Mulroney Conservative in 1988 and served as a minister in Kim Campbell's short-lived cabinet in 1993, says parties have taken too much onto themselves, at the expense of the electorate.
He says it's inexcusable that he was pushed aside after getting elected, and after being nominated twice by members of the local Conservative riding association.
He also said he has now been told that he will not be allowed to seek the party nomination in the next election, despite the support of his constituency association.
"The pooh bahs of the parties of all colours have made themselves actually more important than the individual electors and voters," Turner said.
"The fight is not about getting me back into the Conservative caucus . . . The true fight is for democratic principle."
The Prime Minister's Office had no immediate comment, but government officials have defended Turner's turfing, noting that he repeatedly criticized government decisions, literally from the Tories' first day in office.
He blasted the appointment to cabinet of David Emerson, who was elected as a Liberal, and Sen. Michael Fortier, who wasn't elected at all. Then he ranted on his website against the government positions on same-sex marriage, the environment, tax policy, and gun control.
He published vague details about what went on at closed-door meetings with his colleagues, and hinted at unpleasant encounters with the prime minister's staff.
Turner denied that revenge is his motive.
"This is not about bashing Stephen Harper. This is not about bashing the Conservative party," he said.
"It's trying to be constructive and find a better way ahead. Maybe we need five, or 10, or 20 more Independents in the House of Commons."
But he stressed that he's against the idea of a House of Commons full of Independents because that would be too chaotic.
Turner didn't rule out eventually joining the Green party eventually, and said he will be campaigning Wednesday with party leader Elizabeth May to support her bid for a seat in a London, Ont., byelection.
After flirting with the party, Turner said he believes he could only have joined the Greens if he'd resigned his seat and run in a by-election. He said the voters need to have the last word on who sits in the Commons and under what banner - not prime ministerial aides.
Copyright © 2006 Canadian Press
Copyright © 2006 Yahoo! Canada Co.
The topic of politics came up at a prayer session a while back (Shocking I know!) and I was saying how I think the political system needs overhauling because it's all about party politics now and once a party gets in power there isn't much difference from the last party. So when I saw this article I thought I'd share it with you. I hope Garth Turner is able to create some change. I think some more independants in the House would be good.

Busy Busy Busy

2006-11-08T23:24:00.000-07:00

Has it really been a week since I last posted? Eegads! I'm starting to understand why so many people complain about not having any time to do anything. I'm definitely going to have to get used to being on someone else's time during the day. Now that we're in November, it's dark when I leave for work and it's dark when I get home from work. With having to get up early to catch the express bus downtown, I can't really afford to stay up too late so there isn't much time to get stuff done in the evenings either. I managed to get half my laundry through tonight. I usually do it on the weekend but I was out all weekend. Saturday I had some employment testing for a government job (I wrote the test even though I had gotten a job already. I can use it as a backup plan.) first thing in the morning. After that I wandered around Chinook mall trying but failing to window shop (I got some business casual stuff at Gap for work). I went with my Uncle and family for supper at a steakhouse and then I met up with the gang at Curtis's. Sunday I hung out with my other cousins for most of the day.
My evenings have been filled with apartment hunting and babysitting (just Tuesday night). I was supposed to go look at a place tonight but we had a freak snow storm and I wasn't going anywhere. One guy that got on the bus literally had an inch of snow sitting on top of his head. If he had of been there much longer he probably would have looked like a snowman. I think I found an apartment though. There's not much to choose from right now. They say the vacancy rate is about 1%. I haven't been able to see the palce yet but there were quite a few pictures of the actual unit online. They're faxing me the lease agreement tomorrow and I will make arrangements to get the deposit to them. The apartment is near the Chinook Mall so it's close to the CTrain and major roads. From the pictures, the building looks well maintained. I'm going to try to arrange to meet at the apartment to deliver the deposit so that I can at least see it before handing over the cash.
My life is slowly coming together. I'm making new friends. I'm getting my own place. I started a new job. The job is going really good. My trainer is from Scotland so I'm trying hard not to acquire his accent but don't be surprised if I tell you to bugger off. There's about ten people in my group and they all seem to get along great. So far the company seems really good too. Great benefits and a relxed atmosphere without a lot of red tape. The people in my group all seem to want to work together to get the job done and the company seems to provide all the tools we need to do it.
My head is spinning from all the information that's been coming at me the last several days. I'm definitely looking forward to the weekend. I can't remeber if I have plans or not though. I think I'm going to have to invest in a dayplanner.

I dob wabba geb oudda beb

2006-11-02T19:58:00.000-07:00

I think I might have to crawl out of my cave tomorrow and go in search of some drugs. I am currently suffering from a severe case of post nasal drip. Usually when I have a cold I get the typical sore throat, stuffed nose, and cough. This time though my nose isn't congested. Quite the opposite. It won't stop running. As a result I have a sore throat (due to the post nasal drip) and the inside of my nose feels like it is on fire. I've started stuffing wads of tissue up my nostrils to prevent the cold air from irritating them even more. Also, instead of the cough I've been have huge sneezing fits. Ok immune system, do your thing. I'm trying to drink lots of water and take my vitamins so that my body has everything it needs to recover. It had better be gone by the time I have to start work on Monday.
While lying here convalescing, I decided to google some of my family's names. The results were quite amusing. Someone with the same name as my mother before she was married wrote a book on hat making (millinery). One of my brothers shares the same name as a gay activist researching harassment and violence against gays. The last one was the most shocking. We all thought that my Dad was working overseas for the last several years but it appears he is actually a gay porn star. Not really. I don't care how much airbrushing you do. It wasn't him.
Well here it is only twenty to eight on a Thursday night and I don't know what to do. I know all the big shows are on tonight but my eyes are bugging me because of the sinuses so I don't feel like watching TV. It's too early to call it a night. I should try to hold out for at least another hour. I don't even feel like looking at porn (I told you I was sick). I guess I could always read some of your blogs. So hurry up and post stuff so you can entertain me during my time of illness.

It's Official!

2006-11-01T20:27:00.000-07:00

That's right folks. It's official. I signed on the dotted line this afternoon. Thanks for all the congradualtions. Monday morning I will be joining all the other minions on the commute downtown. I was also honoured to receive an invitation to join the Lunch Bunch. Add me to the email list so I can join you next time you meet.

For all you none Calgarians this is a picture of the CTrain with the Calgary Tower in the background.

Cue Trumpets.

2006-10-31T22:12:00.000-07:00

Today has been a good day. It started of with a trip downtown for a third interview with one of the Big 4 accounting firms. I have previously met with a recruiter and the Group Manager that the position is with. This morning I met with the Partner in charge of the Tax practice here in Calgary. He likes to meet all the candidates and I had been told that this was basically just a formality so I wasn't too nervous. He was really nice and very easy to talk to. He came across as someone who would make a very good mentor. After I left I hopped on the CTrain for the ride home. There were some drunk natives that stayed on all the way to my stop that took away from the enjoyment of the trip. I can't be sure but I think they were passing around a flask (this is before 11:00 in the morning). Their conversation went something like this: "STOP STARING AT MY F*ING CROTCH!" "WHAT ARE YOU A F*ING QUEER!" To which the other guy replied "I'M NOT STARING AT YOUR F*ING CROTCH YOU F*ING ASSHOLE!!" I felt like saying "Trust me, your crotch is nothing to be staring at." I decided not to though because there were three of them and I didn't want to get my suit dirty. Anyways... Back to the interview. When I got home there was a message on my phone. The recruiter had already called not even an hour after I had left the interview saying they wanted to offer me the position. I called her back and she asked me when I was available etc... and said I would have an offer in writing by end of day tomorrow. Yeehaw! Oops, I mean Yay (according to Jeff I can only say Yeehaw during stampede). I will be working as a tax technician doing Canadian and US personal tax returns for overseas workers. It might not sound exciting but there is a certain amount of job security. How does that saying go ? Something about death and taxes.
The day finished off good too. As most of you are aware today was Halloween. I got to sit at home all evening while my Uncle took my cousins around trick or treating in the frickin' cold. It's -11 C out (12 F for any American readers that might stumble across my blog). It's supposed to go back up above freezing by the end of the week and the snow will probably be melted. My cousins brought in quite a haul including a bunch of Coffee Crisps and Reese Peanut Butter cups which they don't like. What is wrong with kids these days? Not that I'm complaining. It just means I get free candy without expending any effort.
I guess I need to enjoy my last days of unemployed bliss. I also need to get some errands out of the way now that I won't have much free time during the day.

Happy Halloween Everybody.

Gaydar

2006-10-24T18:55:00.000-06:00

I saw this on an episode of The Office. It cracked me up at the time and I mentioned it when the topic came up at Reid and Joe's place this past weekend. I don't remember what the conversation was but Jeff might have been complaining about his being broken. I could be wrong about that. It was late and the boys had just finished a prayer meeting. Reid commented on my post about TR Knight that he was disturbed by my apparent foreknowledge. I've always felt the Force strong with me but as of yet have been unable to levitate solid objects. I guess I'll have to find a Jedi Master willing to take on an apprentice. But I digress. I replied to him that maybe my gaydar only worked long range. Sometime later, while playing on You Tube, I decided to see what came up for gaydar and lo and behold I found the segment from The Office. So now I will share it with you. Enjoy.

Gaydar

What is our world coming to?

2006-10-23T19:57:00.000-06:00

Is it just me or have Saturday morning cartoons gotten really shitty? Maybe it's like this with every age group growing up, but when I was younger, I remembered cartoons being funny. What happened to Looney Tunes, Darkwing Duck, Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers, and Talespin. Now it seems like they're all just poorly animated copies of Pokemon or some other video game marketing tool. Does anybody else remember Bonkers? (I still crack up when I think of Fall-Apart Rabbit) And there was Animaniacs. The Warner Bros. and the Warner sister Dot. Pinky and the Brain ("Are you pondering what I'm pondering Pinky?" "I think so Brain, but burlap chafes me so." LOL) I love You Tube for bringing back fond memories.

Animaniacs

Maybe dreams really can come true

2006-10-20T15:35:00.000-06:00

I wrote this post a couple of months ago thinking it was pure fantasy. That was until I read Dan's post today. If he can put his career on the line then surely I can put up with a bit of tension with family members. So what colour tie should I wear to the Emmys?

Art and stuff

2006-10-15T11:49:00.000-06:00

I was killing some time on You Tube and came across this video of a mural while it was being painted. I guess the medium ends up being the video but I couldn't help being shocked when it got painted over. It seemed like all that work was for nothing but then a new mural was started overtop.

1week of art works

This one is by the same artist. It's neat how when the peices are rearranged it still looks like it was painted that way.

puzzle

And lastly I came across these guys. I've seen some of their stuff before and it's pretty good. They have the cute boy next door look going on too. I might have to try some of their lines.

So Smooth

Lemons and Candy

2006-10-14T20:40:00.000-06:00

Nothing much to report as evidenced by the lack of posting. I had a couple more interviews this week but I'm still waiting to hear back from them. My university transcript is coming back to haunt me. I'm not very competitive by nature so I never strove to have the highest marks. I enjoy learning new things and if I got it then I got a good mark if not then my mark was just so so. I also vehemently despise writing essays. I can't seem to pick up the skill of bullshitting. I can see how in the arts there might be some room to express an opinion and contribute something new in an essay. In accounting this isn't the case so most of my essays were pretty much just collecting several acedemic works on a particular topic, putting their thoughts into my words, and avoiding plagerism. I viewed this exercise as a complete waste of my time and as a result there were several term papers that didn't get passed in. So now I'm suffering the consequences of my apathetic approach to my studies. If my potential employers would just call my past employers they would know that I really am a hard worker. If I'm working on a file for a client then I'm going to give 100%. If I'm writing a paper for school that only affects me then 70-80% is good enough. Anyways that's enough self pity and ranting for now. I can't really complain about having to make lemonade out of lemons when I caused the lemons in the first place.
I went to my cousin's diving lesson again. It gets me out of the house and I find the pool relaxing. Now that Fall is well underway the various programs at the pool are also in full swing. There was a swim meet today and there were more advanced divers practicing as well. This means lots of eye candy of course.

The other week when I was out with the boys someone asked me what my type was while we were watching all the eyeliner and purses walk by. I don't really know if I have a specific type. I just know it when I see it. I think at the time though I said jocky. I think I could probably narrow that down to swimmer's build. Muscle is all well and good but when you see a guy with huge arms and super cut abs don't you usually think even just a little bit that he's full of himself? Swimmers just look healthy. Divers have the swimmers build plus they're flexible.

I'm seriously thinking of taking up diving. They have adult classes for beginners at the pool where my cousin goes. I've always wanted to do something acrobatic like gymnastics, trampoline, or diving. It would also be good exercise. I get too bored just working out so I never do. This would be a way for me to get some physical activity. I'm always telling myself that it's too late to start something but I think for once in my life I need to forget about the excuses and just go for it. If I don't do it soon then it really will be too late.

Happy Thanksgiving

2006-10-09T21:46:00.000-06:00

Depending on where you live or how globally educated you are, you may be aware that today was Thanksgiving Day in Canada. I'm not sure how accurate Kelly's expalnation of Canadian Thanksgiving is but it did get me wondering. I decided to pay a quick visit to wikipedia and was pleasantly surprised. Apparently Thanksgiving in Canada predates the traditional first Thanksgiving at Plymouth Rock (1621). "Thanksgiving is related to harvest festivals that had long been a traditional holiday in much of Europe. The first North American celebration of these traditional festivals by Europeans was held in Newfoundland by Martin Frobisher and the Frobisher Expedition to find the Northwest Passage in 1578, and Canadians trace their Thanksgiving to that festival." (wikipedia). Thanksgiving has only been on the second Monday in October since 1957. Before that it varied from year to year even occuring in April one year after the Prince of Wales recoverd from a serious illness. (The Prince of Wales is the title of the one who is next in line to the British throne). The reason the government decided to go with the second Monday in October propably does have to do with the earlier harvest in Canada like Kelly said on his blog. So there you go. Now you can't say you didn't learn something new today. Unless of course you already knew this.
I kicked off my Thanksgiving weekend with an introduction to the gay scene on Friday night. I met Jeff and Doug at Darren's place. After they finished their pregame prayers and preparations we headed out to Twisted. We walked in the door and met Calvin (I hope that's his name. I'm really bad with names.) They were all very apologetic for the atmosphere in the bar. Trust me guys. I was fine. I can probably count the number of bars I've been in on one hand so from where I sit something is better than nothing. I might not always show it but I was having a good time. Granted the eyeliner and purses might get old after a while.
Saturday I dropped by Jeff's for a while and met Debbie and Sandy (? Did I mention I'm really bad with names) They were having a fondue party. I'd tell you about it but what happens at fondue stays at fondue. I will say that Jeff was apologizing again. He may have had a bit to drink and was rather enjoying himself. He had no reaons to be sorry. He was still Jeff just more so. There are pictures but you'll have to bug Jeff about that.
Sunday was a quiet day and then Today we had our turkey dinner with family. Friends of my Aunt and Uncle came over as well as my cousins and my brother and his wife drove down from Edmonton. There were thirteen of us all together.
Well time for me to turn the lights out. I have to get up and head downtown for another interview. Wish me luck.

Entering Society

2006-10-05T23:28:00.000-06:00

So I met Jeff for coffee this afternoon before I had an interview in the neighboring office tower. Doug joined us as well (You may have met him if you were in SF for Pride). He had a job posting for me from his company and Jeff had one for him (Jeff's trying to supplement his income by collecting referral bonuses). As a result of meeting Doug, I now have to come up with a Halloween costume so I decided to see what google could come up with. Here's a sampling of what I found.

Well Hung - This is obviously for the man who has a large ego and hates to dress up. Wear normal clothing and hang a noose around your neck.
Freudian Slip - Wear a slip, preferably black, with a sign around your neck that says "Freud."
Pink Floyd - Wear pink clothes. Add a name tag that says "Floyd."
Hat Rack - Wear a hat on your head and say you're a hat rack.
Sugar Daddy - Attach candy all over yourself.
First Class Male - Buy some stamps and paste them on your face or glue some onto an old shirt.
Nudist on Strike - Dress in normal clothes and carry a sign that says "Nudist on Strike."

This one wouldn't be hard. I have a t-shirt about schizophrenia and I could pick up some name tags.

Identity Crisis / Multiple Personality - Put "Hello my name is..." tags with random names all over your body.

I think I'm leaning towards one of these two.

Mastercard Ad - Wear whatever clothing you choose. Attach a sign to your back that says "Shirt: $30...Jeans: $50...Shoes: $70......Halloween costume that took minimal effort: Priceless.
Got Milk? - Wear a sign that says "Got Milk?". Paint a milk mustache over your lip with make-up or other non-toxic white substance.

In other news, it appears like there may be a considerable contingent of Canadians making the trek to San Francisco for Pride next summer. Now you know so you can't say you weren't warned.

Why are we attracted to what we are attracted to?

2006-10-04T17:48:00.000-06:00

I was flipping channels and paused briefly on the Food Network.

Ricardo Larrivée(on the left) was doing a show. He's not bad but his accent is what made me pause. He is French Canadian (Québecois). That got me wondering why we find accents so attractive. More specifically european sounding accents. Hmm? I guess the culture that it is associated with is thought to be more sensual. How we talk does have an impact on how people view us so I guess a sexy accent implies a sexy person. Anyways that reminded me of a comedian I saw on a Canada Day special. So enjoy a sampling of French Canadian Accent.

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Little Tidbits

2006-10-03T20:05:00.000-06:00

Not a lot to report except that I didn't get the job that I interviewed for last week and I just told you so I figured I'd post something else. A friend emailed this to me a while ago and I came across it while going back through my inbox.

1. FIRST NAME? Matthew
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Not to my knowledge
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? I’m sure there was a tv show on sometime in the last week that got me a little teary
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? No. It looks like a second grader’s printing
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Salami
6. KIDS? Maybe someday
7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Well I don’t think I have an extreme personality one way or the other so I don’t see why not.
8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Does a blog count?
9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? None of the forms list it as a mother tongue so I usually just put English
10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes
11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Most likely probably not
12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Alphabits but they’re not “healthy” so I usually have Honey Nut Cheerios
13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No
14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I don’t think I’m weak. Is that avoiding the question?
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Haagen Dazs Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough (except for that one year when the ice cream stands had Grape Nerd. It was grape bubblegum flavoured with nerds in it. Mmm)
16. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Overall impression and face
17. RED OR PINK? Red
18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOU? I’m too reserved (oh and my nose and hair)
19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My nephew but he’s not dead just on the other side of the country.
20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? I’m not really sending it to anyone.
21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES YOU ARE WEARING? Navy pajama pants and bare feet
22. THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Sloppy Joes, fries, and carrots
23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? My computer fan. Now that you mention it it’s kind of quiet in here.
24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Orange
25. FAVORITE SMELL? Clean man
26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Girl from [accounting firm name] telling me I didn’t get the job
27. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Sure, why not?
28. FAVORITE DRINK? Frutopia Tangerine Wavelength (Don’t consume that much alcohol so I don’t really have a favourite in that category)
29. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? Men’s diving
30. HAIR COLOR? Blonde
31. EYE COLOR? Blue (Hmm? Does that make me part of the master race? Oh wait! I'm gay, oh well)
32. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Not yet (stuck with my glasses until I get benefits)
34. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? Happy Endings
35. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? The Last Kiss
36. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Grey billabong tshirt
38. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs
39. FAVORITE DESSERT? Coconut cream pie
40.WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? Boudica: Dreaming the Serpent Spear by Manda Scott
43. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I have a laptop
44. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST ON TV? ER
45. FAVORITE SOUNDS? When you wake up in the country with the window open and everything is still except for the birds singing and a gentle breeze rustling the leaves
46. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles
47. THE FURTHEST YOU BEEN FROM HOME? My new home, Calgary (see 50)
48. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Not really. I’m quite average.
49. WHEN WERE YOU BORN? April 5, 1980 (same as my Mom only 27 years later)
50. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Saint John, NB

Road Trip Part 1

2006-09-30T22:17:00.000-06:00

If you're looking for part 2 I actually posted it first because of the order I got the filmed developed.

I didn't start taking pictures until I got past central New Brunswick. I didn't think to take any at the time because Southern NB is more familiar to me. I decided to make a quick stop in Hartland and drive through the longest covered bridge in the world.

Here's a view from the side.

Some typical New Brunswick scenery.

I had heard of Daigle through other blogs and his status as a professional bottom. I'm even considering trying some of his advice. I had no idea that he had his own place though. Must make hosting tricks much more convenient.

There were even sign on the highway. When I saw them I just had to make a quick stop for some pictures.

A few more hours of driving and I reached the Lafontaine Tunnel to Montreal. The city is on an Island.

Traffic was flowing on the autoroute Decarie.

After Montreal it's not much further to my granparents' place just inside Ontario.

I stopped at my grandparents for the night and hit the road again the next morning. Once I left their place everything was a first for me. Up to this point, Toronto was the furthest west I'd been. If you've been following my blog then you've already seen the pictures from the second half of my journey.

I'm in Calgary now and liking it so far. Friday I had a second interview with the firm I had interviewed with earlier in the week and I should find out sometime next week if I get the job. Today I went to Banff with my uncle, his two daughters, and my two cousins that live on the north side of the city. I've never seen the mountains in person before so that was neat. Jeff emailed me about doing something tomorrow and possibly meeting some of the clan but he hasn't emailed me back with any details yet so we'll see what happens.

Appearances can be deceiving.

2006-09-29T23:08:00.000-06:00

I don't usually like to copy other people. I don't feel I'm "cool" enough. My curiosity got the better of me though so I decided to try it. Ha ha I got Brad Pitt! If I really look 60% like Brad Pitt why has Ford Modeling not called me? So being the skeptical/analytical person that I am I decided to try a different photo. Now this one's a little more in line with how I see myself. Well except for the chick part.

Road Trip Part 2

2006-09-29T00:13:00.000-06:00

I finally got some of the pictures from my cross Canada trek developed. I temporally misplaced the first camera so you’ll have to start with the second half of my journey.

So at this point we’ve already journeyed through New Brunswick, Quebec, and most of Ontario. I had to stop in Wawa because of the Stompin’ Tom song that we used to listen to when we were kids on one of Dad’s records.

If you look closely you can see my reflection in the sign.

After Wawa, it was time to continue my journey around Lake Superior with yet another day of driving on the windy hilly roads of Northern Ontario.

The next day I reached the prairies.

I drove past my grandmother’s birthplace, Steinbach, Manitoba (I’m half Mennonite)

After a night in Regina and some more prairie driving (this time in the rain)…

I arrived in Calgary.

How scientific are these things?

2006-09-27T21:42:00.000-06:00

I don't have a whole lot to blog about. My social calendar is relatively empty for the time being and the job search is progressing slowly but surely (I have a second interview tomorrow and they're doing a background check). So instead of not posting I decided to take a looky lou at blogthings to see if anything interesting popped up. This is what I found.

What Your Bathroom Habits Say About You

You are a giving soul. Way too giving in fact. You often get stuck doing the dirty work that no one else will do.

You spend a lot on clothes, and you tend to be a very good dresser. However, it's hard for you to throw away trendy clothes when they go out of style.

You are a little shy and easily embarrassed. You often wonder if you are normal.

In relationships, you are practical and realistic. You have a romantic side, but you only let it out when it's appropriate.

What Do Your Bathroom Habits Say About You?

There were only four questions but the results were surprisingly accurate. The giving part is somewhat true. It's not so much a desire to help but a feeling of guilt for not helping. Thanks Mom and Dad. I don't get how they reached their conclusions about my clothing habits based on the questions asked. The last two statements are true. I'd like to know where they got that picture of me. If the hair was much lighter and much less of it that picture could be me. I'm a bathroom reader and with the advent of wireless technology it only seems natural to make the change from paper to online reading. That way I can take care of business and keep up to date on all your blogs or look for an apartment. Being efficient is juts part of who I am.

I'm learning

2006-09-26T23:43:00.000-06:00

This young Padawan is learning. I was killin' some time online and I eventually found myself at outzonetv.com (something to do with Ashton Kutcher in his modeling days). I started watching a few of the clips and one was for Kathy Griffin (once you get their video player up you can click on the comedy tab). The clip of highlights from her season 2 of D-list is funny. I was busting a gut at her parents talking about her going to Iraq to perform for the troops.

KG: So if I get kidnapped how much will you pay for ransom?
KG's Mom: (in a reluctant tone) weeeellll
KG's Dad: How about the condo?
KG: Your going to offer a terrorist a condo in West Hollywood as ransom?
KG's Dad: Well they'll most likely kill you anyways.

I was also a little shocked at the military guy's attitude on the phone. Kathy was warning them that she usually opened her routine with "Where are all my gays at?" but that she probably wouldn't in Iraq. His response was "If they're smart they wouldn't answer and if thy're stupid they deserve to get caught" WHAT? I know, I know, the US military has this whole don't ask don't tell thing but I guess I just don't get where the animosity comes from. Everyone's first excuse is that it's morally wrong. I have several problems with this argument.

1. Do you even go to church? If I had the energy I'd look up the stats on how many people regularily attend church. Whatever the percentages are I'm guessing that the percentage of homophobes that don't even go to church would mirror that of the general population. So you obviously aren't that concerned with morals because you only go to church at Christmas and Easter but they're suddenly an issue when it comes to someone else's sexuality?

2. I'm all for freedom of religion but I don't buy this whole anything goes concept. If you believe that any religion can lead you to salvation then you don't really believe the teachings of your religion. By freedom of religion I mean that you a free to believe what you want and I'm free to believe that you're wrong. But this doesn't mean that we can't be civil to each other. The only example of Jesus being politically active is when he threw the money changers out of the temple. If I show up at your place of worship and start bumping and grinding with my honey feel free to shout angry epitaphs at me but don't you dare go around picketing veterans funerals. Try going home and re-reading your Bible instead. I can accept if you truly are a person of faith and feel that homosexuality is a sin but that doesn't mean we can't be civil and work side by side in the workplace. You do it all the time with people that are straight but divorced or living common-law.

3. Why don't you just admit it. It's more about you being turned off by the thought of two men getting it on. I'm sure for very straight men that thought has the same affect as the thought of doing it with their grandmother. Stop pretending that it bothers you much because it's a sin. Pride is a sin too but you don't see protesters following you around you stuck up arrogant ass.

I guess I just don't get where the hate comes from. Like I said at the beginning, I'm learning but I have a long way to go.

I guess I should...

2006-09-25T21:21:00.000-06:00

...probably update this thing from time to time. I'm more of a reader than a writer and I'm also more of a listener than a talker.

I had an interview today with a large accounting firm. I almost didn't want to blog about it in case I jinx it or something but I think it went pretty well. I seemed to have the right combination of experience, personality and career goals that they are looking for. By the end of the interview the manager that I would be working for was using language like "when" I start not "if" I start so hopefully that's a good sign. If all goes well I'll soon be able to join the many other bloggers out there and blog about what an awful day at work I had.

On a more exciting note, I got to meet Jeff on Sunday for brunch (it was more lunch time by the time we got a seat). He took me to a place called Nellie's Kitchen. The food was good but I wouldn't exactly say it was nelly. Actually there was a good mix of clientele. Afterwards he showed me around a bit of downtown. The Gayway (Safeway where all the gays shop), the park to avoid after dark so as not to be propositioned, the gay dance club, a Chintz and Things (or something like that) store that wasn't chintzy. He was going to introduce me to his friend Curtis but he wasn't home (or didn't answer the door). Oh well, his loss. He'll just have to wait to meet me.

This is my second week in Calgary and for the most part I haven't been feeling homesick. Jeff had mentioned that his friend Reid had recently visited the Maritimes so I was checking out his blog and saw his pictures from Halifax and PEI. That kind of made me miss home a bit. One of my friends is related to the guy with the big beard on the North Rustico post cards. On top of this my Mom sent me pictures of my nephews. Now I can't wait to go home for Christmas. Hopefully my older nephew hasn't forgotten me.

Oh yeah, I made it here safe.

2006-09-18T21:01:00.000-06:00

I suppose I should probably let you know that I arrived in Calgary safe and sound. I arrived Friday around supper time. The last day of driving wasn't much fun. It rained most of the day, sometimes quite heavy. There was some lightning in the morning and even a small patch of hail. I didn't see any snow but when I got into Calgary I did see some on the bumper of a minivan and apparently the north side of the city got some.
I'm settling in quite well and my Aunt and Uncle are making me feel right at home. I've already been to the mall to get a new cell phone, gone to a soccer game and my cousin's first diving lesson at the Talisman Centre. Tonight my Uncle's company was having a fancy dinner at the Petroleum Club for their grand opening so I'm babysitting. We played a couple of games (Disney's Scene It and Cranium Conga) and the girls got to bed on time so now I'm just enjoying some quiet time until my Aunt and Uncle get home. I do need to get some resumes sent out so I think I'll work on that next. I might be ready to hit the town later in the week.

Risqué?

2006-09-14T23:34:00.000-06:00

So I'm driving along somewhere between Dryden, ON and Regina SK flipping through radio station. I stopped on one and the DJ was talking about tonight's episode of CSI NY. A couple was having bungee sex off the Brooklyn bridge. WHAT!?! Am I the only guy that just instinctively crossed his legs and reached down to make sure everything was ok? Now I am by no means overly experienced in the sex department and I know that some like it more aggressive than others but if you have your member firmly ensconced in your partner and they were to suddenly be jarred in an inopportune direction with an exceeding amount of force could that not pose serious risk to your precious assets? Does sex really get so boring after a while that you need to put your equipment in harms way? You may call me a prude but I would prefer not to find out first hand whether a penis is just as effective post reconstructive surgery as the origional.

On the road again...

2006-09-13T20:10:00.000-06:00

Well I'm sitting in a hotel in Dryden, Ontario. The driving hasn't been too bad. I just finshed my third 11 hour day in a row. I can safely say I do not want to be a trucker. I'm an introvert so I enjoy a little alone time but this is getting to be a bit much. So far the trip has been uneventful. The scenery between Sault Ste Marie and Thunderbay was breath taking. The hills seemed to go on forever and the leaves were changing colour. It will be interesting to see if any of the pictures I took through the windshield on a disposable camera while driving will turn out. I did pass an over turned tractor trailer today and there were crates of pepsi products piled on the side of the road. Hopefully there won't be any shortages out west. I should have stopped to see if they were giving any away.

Final Get Togethers

2006-09-09T20:28:00.000-06:00

Ann planned a little "surprise" farewell gathering for me tonight. I used quotes because she's not very good at the surprise part. Last Sunday I apparently said something that made her think I had overheard her talking about it. "Did you hear me talking to your sister?" she asked. I hadn't but I wondered why she cared if I had heard. The only reason they'd be talking secretly is if they were planning something. Then she told me not to make plans for Saturday night. Hmmm. Anyways, I was right. Ann, Mom, my sister and brother in law and two nephews, and several friends took me to Vito's. It's a pretty good restaurant owned by a local Greek family.

I got some Tim Horton's money and an Esso giftcard for my trip from two of my friends. It was supposed to be best wishes only so technically it was from their dog. They are two sisters that live together and I dogsit their yorkie, Caleb, when they go on vacation. I guess I've ruined their vacation plans. They said they'll have to go to Florida separately now.

After dinner we went back to another friend's house and played scatergories. One round the letter was P and two of the catergories were magazines and things you keep hidden. What comes to your mind? All in all it was a fun evening but it's starting to hit me that I'm really leaving. I know I'll be back for visits but I couldn't help thinking that I might not eat at Vito's again or go to my friend's house. Only two more sleeps and then I hit the road. Next week I'll be blogging from Calgary (providing I have internet access).

Acceptance???

2006-09-05T19:41:00.000-06:00

Hmm? I haven't really talked very much about the whole gay thing with my Mom since I told her about a month and a half ago. My parents had a discussion with me when my Dad was home at the first of August but not much more since then. We've been focusing on the plans for me to move to Calgary so I can get a job and stop mooching off of them.

I know where their official stance still is but part of me wonders if Mom isn't getting used to the whole idea or at the very least she's not dwelling on it every second of the day. Let me explain my thinking. Mom went to get groceries today. When she got home I was watching Big Brother. Now Mom doesn't usually watch "such nonesense" but she was tired after shopping so she sat down on the couch. The show happenned to be showing some clips of Will because he was evicted (hee hee oops. Sorry if I just spoiled anything [he said with an impish grin]) and out of the blue Mom says "He's not bad looking". I acted shocked because we just don't talk about that stuff in our family and would she say that if Dad were home? So the reason I'm thinking that she's not dwelling on the whole gay thing is because if she was I think she would avoid pointing out good looking guys to me. Thoughts?

That was the first thing. After the show we started putting away the groceries and she was showing me the snacks she got me for my trip. There was some crackers, snack mix, apple sauce, bottled water, AND Quaker Chewy Dipps Reduced Sugar RAINBOW Chips Bars. Thats right. RAINBOW chips. Coincidence? Je pense que non. I'm sure it wasn't intentional but can we say Freudian slip?

I guess I'll just have to wait and see how this all plays out. Only time will tell but I'll be sure to enjoy my reduced sugar rainbow chip bars in the mean time.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I don't really think Will's that attractive. For me personality affects how I see someone and he has a whole sleeze factor thing going on.

Road Trip Preparations

2006-09-02T20:34:00.000-06:00

In preparation for my cross Canada trek I picked up a Stompin’ Tom CD. For those of you not familiar with him, he is very Canadian. I figured I couldn’t make a road trip across Canada without one of his CD’s. I remember listening to him on one of my Dad’s old records when I was a kid. I thought I might give you a sample of some songs and send some shout outs at the same time.

The first one is Rubberhead for Atari (and anybody else dealing with a breakup). I hope you can find someone that appreciates you and I know I only have your side of the story but I think Mark (John) is a boob.

The second one goes out to Donnie from Idaho. We grow potatoes here too. In northern New Brunswick schools go back early and then take a break for the potato harvest. This song is about PEI potatoes and a trucker named Bud The Spud. I’ll be driving part of the same route as him.

Next is Jeff. Every now and then he talks about feeling down. Jeff, thanks for the info on Calgary. I hope this helps some. Shakin’ The Blues

And last but not least is the infamous Darin. Thanks for telling me what I needed to post audio. Now you can all go crazy like my by listening to these songs over and over again for five days. Stompin’ Tom didn’t have any songs about Phoenix so this is what I came up with. Polka Playin’ Henry is a bit like Darin cause he likes to entertain and he’s good at it.

So now that I have my travelin’ music I should probably get back to packing.

HEY YOU!

2006-08-31T19:28:00.000-06:00

You know how most commercials are really dumb but there’s the odd one that grabs your attention. I just saw this one. You should check out this web site http://endaids.ca/.

Every Six Seconds

Tell me Something I don't know.

2006-08-30T16:10:00.000-06:00

Your Kissing Technique Is: Perfect

Your kissing technique is amazing - and you know it.

You have the confidence to make the first move.

And you always seem to know what kissing style is going to work best.

Sometimes you're passionate, sometimes you're a tease. And you're always amazing!

Are You a Good Kisser?

I'm telling you, this cross of perfection gets difficult to bear sometimes. [sigh] Although I don't know why having good technique means I'm confident enough to make the first move.

EEEKS...

2006-08-29T17:20:00.000-06:00

...it's been almost a week since I've posted. I thought about stealing ideas from other bloggers but I don't really feel like writing anything autobiographical at the moment. Sometimes (ok fine most of the time) writing is an effort for me (possibly related to some minor perfectionist tendencies that I may or may not have) and I've had to write a couple of cover letters and job search emails so my writing juices have been drained. I stress over what to say and how to say it so that the people I'm writing will want to hire me. I don't know why I worry so much. I mean who wouldn't want to hire me? LOL Just kidding. Plans are coming along for the move to Calgary. The car is going in Thursday for a check up and new tires. I've been collecting contacts and phone numbers so I can hit the ground running in the job hunt department. I didn't know I had so many relatives of relatives out west let alone ones in the financial industry. I might not even need the services of a head hunter. Once my CAA card comes in the mail I'll be hitting the road. I guess I should go and do some more packing.

My car in couple weeks (minus the leather seats)

Not much to report...

2006-08-23T20:09:00.000-06:00

...just more of the same. Dad's back in Europe. He did find out while he was home that there is a position for him in the local office with his company when his contract finishes. Life is pretty much back to normal now that all the travel arrangements for my brother's wedding are over and my sister and her husband are getting used to having two kids around.
So now Mom has time to focus on helping me with my job search. Unfortunatly in my current financial situation I need their help to move. I want to move away for several reasons. One, to just get away from everything I've grown up with and become me and also for economic reasons. There just aren't that many entry level accounting positions in the maritimes. For me it's kind of a good thing that there aren't many jobs around here because it gives me an excuse to move. If I was just moving to get away from my parents and church then I don't think my parents would be willing to help out with the money. At first I was looking at Toronto. It's the financial capital of Canada so I should be able to find some sort of job. It also has a large gay community. Large enough that I should be able to find a niche that I fit into somewhere and given the numbers surely there would be at least one guy that I would be compatible with. My mother however was trying to sell me on Calgary. I wasn't to keen on Calgary because it's farther away from home. I'll have to fly home for Christmas as opposed to driving. I figured the job situation would be about the same as Toronto so why go farther away than I needed to. Another factor was I'm not sure what the situation is with the gay population. I would like to eventually meet someone for a longterm and possibly lifelong relationship (I know I know I'm young and naive) so I'd like to go somwhere where the odds of that happening are at least decent.
It's looking like Calgary is going to be the winner. After doing some reasearch on "certain" websites, I've decided that Clagary does have an adequate number of guys with potential after all. The job market also appears to be better than Toronto's. According to my cousin who is a nurse there, if you don't have a job within a week then you're just plain lazy. The skeptical side of me is suspicious that this is just in labour jobs but I'm hoping it's true for accounting jobs as well. I don't want to jinx it or anything but I'm hoping that within about a month I'll be packing my things and heading west. Wish me luck.

Mainstream Nonconformity and Lessons Learned

2006-08-20T10:59:00.000-06:00

You Are 60% Normal

Otherwise known as the normal amount of normal

You're like most people most of the time

But you've got those quirks that make you endearing

You're unique, yes... but not frighteningly so!

How Normal Are You?

Whew! That's a relief. I was hoping I wasn't going to have to change the name of this blog to just another bug.

A and I went to see Accepted on Friday night. It was pretty funny if you like teen movies. I do but some people act all artistically superior and only admit to liking epic motion pictures. I guess I just feel that each genre has it's place. As with most teen movies, this one had a moral. Learning doesn't have to take place within the confines of the traditional educational system that cares more about conformity and protocols. One thing that I've learned is that if you have to go pee after consuming a large volume of pop while you were enjoying your movie then you shouldn't wait until you get home to take care of the situation. I learned this lesson the hard way.

One evening not so long ago, I exited the theatre with the knowledge that my bladder had reached it's capacity. "I'll just wait 'till I get home," I thought to myself. This would prove not to be one of the best decisions I've made. During the 20 minute drive home the situation grew steadily worse. I was ready at a moments notice to pull off to the side. I live in a rural area so there would have been no problem finding a bush to hide behind. I kept going and my muscles kept tightening. By the time I reached home I was in considerable pain. I rushed to the bathroom eagerly anticipating the sweet relief that comes with emptying a full bladder. To my dismay the pain actually got worse. I'm not sure if the muscles had contracted for so long that they were cramped but they didn't seem to want to release. I haven't felt that much pain in a while. I had to sit down doubled over on the toilet. I just hope there was no permanent damage. Needless to say I've learned my lesson. Save yourself the trouble and take my advice on this one. If you need to go then go. Even if you don't like using the crowded public washrooms at the movie theatre.

Daydreams

2006-08-19T20:25:00.000-06:00

I'm the type of person that needs to know how the story ends. Mom used to have to take my books away from me so I wouldn't stay up all night reading. If you want to make out, don't bother starting a movie because even if I've seen it before I need to watch the whole thing. Because I'm like this I don't like to get involved in too many TV shows. If I'm gonna watch a show I like to follow it so if I watched to many then I wouldn't have time for anything else (like reading your blogs). Well lately time is one thing I seem to have so I find myself watching more TV. One of our local stations has been showing reruns of Grey's Anatomy at noon. I didn't get into this show the first time around because I was already watching ER and House so I didn't think I needed another Hospital Drama in my line up. I like to stay well rounded that way. I'm really kind of liking it now though and I find myself crushing on Dr. George O'Malley (TR Knight).He has a gentleness and genuineness about him. And he's sexy too. In the boy next door way not the super stud way. Super studs intimidate me but I could picture curling up on the couch with TR and watching a movie. He also has a playful side. Of course it would never work. He's too famous. I can just picture the email I'd have to write before we went to the Emmys together. "Dear Freinds and Family: I thought I should write to tell you something before you read about it in People Magazine." Oh well. I've lived in my daydreams for this long, a few more days won't hurt.

Time Well Wasted

2006-08-17T20:39:00.000-06:00

And now for some of Canada's favourite passtime, America Bashing. What can I say? It gets us through the winter months. If it's any comfort we make fun of ourselves just as much.

I'm not sure I can see this interview happening with an American President.

I also came across this take on all the spin off shows being done.

I hope this has been culturally enriching for you. Enjoy.

All hands on deck

2006-08-15T20:56:00.000-06:00

My brother's fiance and her parents came for supper tonight. So in typical Mom fashion it was all hands on deck. Vacuum here. Sweep there. Take this pile to the basement. Put the laundry away. You get the idea. With my luck it's genetic so when I move out I'll have to have people over to force myself to clean the place. Supper was good. We had potatoes, beans, carrots, beats, and corn all from our garden and roast beef from the store. I managed to get the stains off my hands from pealing and slicing the beats. It reminded me of Macbeth.

Aside: Apparently Lady Macbeth says "Out, damn spot! Out, I say!" and not "Out out damn spot!" I always get mixed up between Hamlet and Macbeth so I googled the phrase "out out damn spot" (because that's what I and apparently many others thought it was) to see which play it was from. The third result was for one of Towleroad’s posts. I don't think I've read his blog before but I have seen his name in the comments sections of other blogs. I might check him out now after this episode of chance.

Anyhoo, for dessert we had blueberry shortcake. It wasn't a good year for strawberries and Mom had a bunch of blueberries so voila, blueberry shortcake. My future sister-in-law also brought a caremal almond cheese cake. Ugh! I was stuffed. I definitely need to modify some of my eating habits because one of these days my metabolism is going to decide it's had enough and dicide to retire.

Chickens and Eggs

2006-08-14T20:49:00.000-06:00

My life’s in a bit of a rut lately. I don’t know if I’m just really good at making excuses but it seems like everything I need to do is subject to the chicken and the egg phenomenon. I graduated over a year ago now with my business degree and I still don’t have a full time job. I’ve had several temporary jobs but have been collecting unemployment since May. I decided that I need to move away. Going to a church that is like one big extended family (a large number of members actually are) in a smallish city is not exactly conducive to self exploration and discovery. You never know when you might bump into someone or who might see you going in where. There also aren’t a lot of entry level opportunities for recent accounting grads either so moving makes sense from a job point of view as well. This is where the chicken and the egg phenomenon comes into play. It seems no one wants to interview someone that isn’t local and I can’t afford to move somewhere if I don’t have a job. This phenomenon is even affecting my personal life. I’m kicking myself for telling my parents I’m gay. Stupid emotions! Stupid ex for breaking up with me! The plan was to wait until I was living on my own and economically independent. Why can’t I just stick to the plan! My parents aren’t about to send me off to a rehab camp or anything but they do think it’s a sin and expect me to change. They’ve made it clear that while they will always love me they cannot support me if I’m living a “sinful” “lifestyle”. Because it looks like I will need to move in order to get a job, I will need financial help from them and because I told them I was gay, I need to be careful what I say and do. So for now I am listening to what they have to say (we don’t really talk about it that often) and being open to the possibility that I am wrong. Deep down I’m pretty sure I’m not but I don’t think I’m just pretending for my parents when I say I’m open to the possibility. I think it would be pretty arrogant to just dismiss everything I’ve been taught my whole life without giving it some serious consideration. What makes me any smarter than prior generations. If I’m going to disagree with something I should at least know what I disagree with and why. It’s a lot to deal with since I’ve been going to that church since before I can remember. Anyways, it just seems like everything in my life is waiting on me getting a job. It’s not just the money. It’s the daily routine that I want as well. I want to start exercising and eating better but it’s hard when you don’t have a routine.

Speaking of chickens and eggs, I’m going tomorrow to pick up some chicks. Yes I’m still gay. I mean actual chicks. Ten brown egg layer chicks. So in about 6 months or so we’ll start getting more eggs than we know what to do with (picture buying a half dozen eggs every day of the week). I’ll be sure to keep an eye on them so that I don’t make the same mistake Brett did but I’m pretty sure they’re a sex-linked cross. (It has to do with poultry colour genetics. I’d go into it but you’re probably already bored.) Maybe I’ll borrow my mom’s camera so I can post some pictures. Then again maybe I won’t. We’ll see.

Entertainment?

2006-08-11T12:45:00.000-06:00

Well I still haven’t received my “gay” card that everyone keeps talking about. Maybe I’m still on probation. I hope not because that means I might have to pretend to like this person’s performance (he was on America's got Talent).

I’m sorry but I just don’t think any amount of time in the village, strawberry daiquiris, or Golden Girls reruns will bring me to a point where I find this entertaining. Maybe entertaining in the laugh at you kind of way but I never feel comfortable laughing at people. I can’t watch American/Canadian Idol during the audition stage because I just feel too embarrassed for them. I know for a lot of people this is the best part but I just can’t put myself through that kind of torture. I have noticed that all these talent type shows tend to have a snarly judge that everyone loves to despise. (That’s a reference to the Veggie Tales Christmas special. I know you like them too so don't try to deny it.)

Anyways... I better go check the mail to see if my card came yet.

My Story (so far...)

2006-08-09T13:19:00.000-06:00

My God! Why is life so difficult? I don’t usually take the Lord’s name in vain but for some reason the phrase has become part of the modern vernacular and I couldn’t think of a substitute phrase that conveyed the same emotion.

I just got off of MSN with my ex-boyfriend. Apparently he now thinks he made a huge mistake and never should have broken up with me. Why now? Why after I’m getting over him and starting to get on with my life does he spring this on me?

We met online and started emailing almost daily. I went to visit him (a 6 hour drive) over the Easter weekend and things grew from there. I went to visit him again after tax season ended (my job ended along with it) this time for a week. I met his parents and some more of his friends and everything seemed to be going fine. I started applying for jobs in the area. He lives in a rural area so there wasn’t very much in my field (accounting) but I ended up getting an interview with a call centre that registers domain names. I visited him again when I went for my interview and we talked about moving in together and futures and stuff like that. I know this seems fast and looking back I would agree but at the time it seemed right.

I was planning to meet him again in Halifax during the July long weekend to go to his brother and long term partner’s wedding (His brother and father are also gay). Then, about a week or so before the wedding it happened. We had chatted on MSN that morning like normal with no hints that anything was up and then that afternoon I was excited to see an email from him in my inbox. I started reading and my stomach dropped and my intestines turned to mush. I couldn’t believe what was happening. His reason for breaking up with me was basically that I wasn’t out to my family yet. He had this picture in his head of being best friends with his boyfriend’s parents and he just couldn’t see himself with me because I didn’t have the whole family in law package that he was looking for. Needless to say I was blindsided and crushed. I couldn’t eat properly for several days due to the feeling of nausea.

Side note: I tend to be slightly academic and curious by nature so I remember being intrigued by the way my body was responding in a physical way to emotional stress. I’ve never experienced that before. Hmm, interesting. Something to research later.

Anyways, where was I…

He insisted that he wasn’t trying to force me into coming out or anything and I believe him. That’s what I did anyways. I think I was upset enough that I wouldn’t have been able to keep it from my Mom anyways. There were no angry outbursts or anything just silence. Since then I have been asked to read some articles she found on line and read my bible and pray with the hope that I will change. I haven’t really talked much more with her about it. For now I’m trying to avoid the topic until I get a job and move out. Then they can deal with the facts or not. It won’t affect me as much but right now I’m financially dependant on them and they aren’t going to help me move to a new city if they think they’re sending my off to a life of sin.

Then this morning I see him come online on MSN and he messages me. He tells me he had had a good talk with his brother. I say “ok” and think to myself “this is leading to something because he never seemed to get along with his brother”. Then he says “I realize I made a huge mistake. I know it’s not your parents or siblings I’m falling in love with. It’s you.” “Wow! That’s unexpected” I replied. So now I don’t know what to think. I told him that I was unsure of how I felt about all this because I had spent the last couple of months convincing myself that we weren’t meant to be and also that I was through settling for dead end jobs and compromising my future for someone that might turn around and yank the whole thing out from under me. Why can’t I deal with one emotional battle at a time? Auhhhhggg! Now I have some soul searching to do.

Honey, I'm home

2006-08-08T18:39:00.000-06:00

Well I survived Indiana. I think I ate too many grapes though based on the frequency of my visits to the little boy’s room today. I also remembered why I don’t like traveling with my Dad. Dad’s been working over seas for the last couple of years so we only see him at Christmas and a couple weeks in the summer. I ended up traveling home with my parents and they definitely do not have the same communication styles. At first I was somewhat sympathetic with Dad because Mom likes to be in control so she had researched our routes ahead of time. (I’m very much like my Mom so I know what she’s like. It’s not that we always have to be actively in control as long as we’re sure that the person that is in control knows what they’re doing. If not then we tend to take over.) Because of this Dad is happy to just let Mom do the navigating. The problem is instead of giving the next set of directions Mom waits until we’re right on top of our exit before saying take a right. Needless to say Dad was getting a little frustrated. Once we got Mom to start giving us Route #’s and street names ahead of time then it was time to start getting mad at Dad. It seemed like he had turned off his intelligence. I mean he’s traveled around the world on his own so one would think he could read signs. If you were to see a sign saying to go right to get to O’Hare Airport along with the route number that your wife had just given you, would you still get mad at her for not telling you whether to go left or right? And then he gets mad at Mom and me for getting mad at him for getting mad at us because we assumed that he could read the signs. I think you’re beginning to see my dilemma. Ugh! I was praying that my seat wasn’t next to theirs on the flight. I did manage to make it home in one piece and didn’t have any problems like on the way to Lafayette. I am still thinking half in French though. All of Air Canada’s announcements are in English and French and when you took French Immersion through Junior High and High School this tends to cause your inner dialogue to go back to bilingual.

Slight change in plans

2006-08-03T18:26:00.000-06:00

I told you I was naive. This is my first time flying by air. I boarded my flight in Saint John this morning. Everything was great. I arrive in Montreal and things aren't so great. My flight to Toronto is delayed an hour. Ok well I was supposed to have about 2 hours to switch terminals and go through customs in Toronto so now I'll only have an hour. That should be enough time right? Maybe it was. I'll never know because we got delayed again after we were on the runway. Something about thunder storms yadda yadda yadda... When we arrived, the flight attendants told me there was a good chance my next flight would also be delayed because of the weather so I raced through the airport (it works in the movies) to the shuttle to the next terminal. That was a waste of effort. I get on the shuttle 2nd and while I'm catching my breath all the people that decided to walk proceed to get on the bus. Grrrr. Don't you people know I have a plane to catch?! At least the luggage handling was efficient. My suitcase was already there for me to pick up and go through customs. I never made it to customs though. I showed my boarding pass to one of the lovely ladies and she said "Oh, that flight already left. You'll have to go way down to the end of this very long corridor and you'll find the Air Canada reservaton phones. Next!" Ahh Crrrap! So now I'm sitting in the Park Plaza Hotel waiting for the next flight to Indianapolis in the morning. Fun times!

I'm leavin' on a jet plane...

2006-08-02T14:25:00.000-06:00

I'm in the middle of packing. I leave tomorrow around lunch time for Lafayette, Indianna. Mom called today and said it was really hot there. Yea! I get to stand in a church in a three peice suit on Saturday! So tomorrow I lose my flying virginity. Should be interesting. I need to remeber to pick up a GQ or something for the flight. I think I saw Justin Timberlake on the cover in the grocery store.

I'm taking my laptop with me but I might not be able to post or check email till next week so I leave you something to think about. No it's not eye candy. I can't compete with Donnie so I won't even try. Instead I found these interesting takes on those posters they use to decorate offices at http://despair.com. Here's a couple of my favourites.

I really hope I don't end up at McDonald's the rest of my life.

Sometimes it's good to not be noticed.

The burdens I must bear.

In case I can't get online while I'm away have a great weekend everybody and happy New Brunswick day on Monday.

Odds and Ends

2006-08-01T20:36:00.000-06:00

Not even a week yet and I'm already doing an odds and ends post. This can't be good. If I can just make it to 21 days. Apparently that's the magic number for forming a habit. So far I'm doing better at blogging than I've done at exercising. I exercise about once a month if that and it consists of about half a pilates routine. I guess I'll have to get more serious about it once my metabolism slows down a bit more. I just don't get the rush that some people talk about from exercising. I find it boring.

So as I mentioned earlier I'm baching it this week. I was getting tired of bbq'd sausages so I decided to switch it up tonight. I ended up doing spaghetti. That might sound more impressive than mac and cheese but it's not. It's actually easier. You still have to cook the pasta but instead of the butter/milk/cheese powder mess you just open a jar of pasta sauce and voila. Of course if Mom was here she would have made her own sauce from scratch. (Now that I think of it there's probably some in the freezer. Darn, too late now.)

Just before I go I wanted to complain about yahoo. I have yahoo.ca set as my home page. I'm used to glancing at certain places to see the current headlines or entertainment news. Well today they go and revamp the whole site (It might have been just the Canadian site but I'm not sure). It's bad enough that I now have to get used to looking in different sections but it also looks ugly. The icons are all boxy like an early edition of windows or something. I don't want to look at that every time I go online. Maybe it's just me but if you are going to revamp a site shouldn't you have everything ready to go before you go live? Half of the links weren't working. Of course this is just my business training talking (You know, the part about not ticking off the customer) maybe they do it differently in the techy world. I'll give it a day or two but I may be shopping around for a new home page.

Me time

2006-07-31T19:55:00.000-06:00

Mom left today for Lafayette Indianna. My brother's getting married on Saturday and she went early to help out and finalize rehearsal dinner plans (it's hard to look after stuff like that long distance). I fly out Thursday. It's my first time flying so I'm a little nervous. I'm not scared to fly I just don't know what to expect and I'll be by myself. I tend to get tunnel vision when I'm in new places with large crowds so I end up missing signs and stuff (and I want to move to Toronto?). Leave it to me to have my first flight be an international one. Might as well learn how to do everything at once. I have to go through Montreal and switch terminals and go through customs in Toronto on my way to Indianapolis. Oh well. I'm sure everything will be fine. I'm not an optimist, just naive.

For now I have the house to myself during the day while my older brother's at work. Usually mom's home getting after me to do something constructive so now I have the week to watch TV and read blogs.

That's all for today. I really need to get this move to Toronto started before Fall hopefully. I need to get a job and start getting on with my life. I'm starting to get cabin fever.

And now for some politics...

2006-07-30T20:17:00.000-06:00

I mentioned a couple days ago that I was going to post about something political but needed to do more research. On Friday Dave posted some links to posts that other bloggers had written on gay marriage. I found them both to be very thought provoking and educational. As someone who is only recently coming out to himself (it’s always been there I’m just accepting it now which seems to be a common theme from what I’ve read) and gradually discovering more of what’s going on around me in “gaydom”, these articles made me realize that there’s a lot more going on politically in this area than I’m aware of. The media leads you to believe that the battles have been fought and won and there’s just this one last hurdle of gay marriage. Wow, were my eyes opened. If I lived in the states I could lose my job just because I’m gay? Whoa! I immediately thought “Could this happen to me in Canada?”

Well we have had several laws passed in recent years that are favourable to gay rights but that was under the Liberal government. Now that we have a Conservative government will things change? People are worried because Prime Minister Harper has said he would allow a free vote on same sex-marriage in the House. I think he’s just playing politics because he knows the vote wouldn’t pass with a minority government. The Liberals, the NDP, and the Bloc Quebecois all support same sex-marriage so they would easily defeat the government on this issue. Because it’s not a budgetary issue it is not considered a confidence motion so the government wouldn’t fall and Harper can still tell his far right wing supporters that he tried.

We interrupt this posting for an important news bulletin….

While typing this I noticed an article on Yahoo news about the crowd booing a Conservative minister at the opening of the Out Games in Montreal. Personally I don’t agree with this. I think the old saying “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar” has a lot of truth to it. We should be in dialogue with people and educating them and listening to their concerns and addressing them. I know there are the religious fanatics that will never listen but there are also some that just get caught up in the rhetoric and if we listen to what they have to say after we help them get past the rhetoric I’m sure they would come around. I don’t think we should be pushing them to accept that gay is ok. Let’s start with agreeing to disagree and that our being married won’t affect them and that we’re not trying to tear apart their churches. I really see this as more of a religious issue and separation of church and state.

We now return to your regularly scheduled programming…

Even if the Conservative government were to pass legislation defining marriage as between a man and a woman I don’t think it would be constitutional in Canada. Section 15 of the charter of rights and freedoms states that: Every individual is equal before and under the law and has the right to the equal protection and equal benefit of the law without discrimination and, in particular, without discrimination based on race, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, sex, age or mental or physical disability.

The closest I could find in the U.S. constitution was in Amendment XIV Section 1. where it says “nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws”.

Section 15 has several factors that I believe have brought about gay rights legislation in Canada. First is the phrase “equal protection and equal benefit”. So even if one could win the argument that gays don’t need to be able to marry to be protected by the law they couldn’t say that we have equal benefit. Secondly the phrase “in particular” has been interpreted by the courts to mean that the list of characteristics protected by section 15 is not exhaustive. Wikipedia describes this better here. So while individuals were unsuccessful in convincing the courts that pot smoking was a personal characteristic, they were successful in having homosexuality ruled a personal characteristic and so now Canada has same-sex marriage. In order to overturn this the government would have to use Section 1 of the charter “The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms guarantees the rights and freedoms set out in it subject only to such reasonable limits prescribed by law as can be demonstrably justified in a free and democratic society” and I’m not sure how it would be demonstrably justified to prevent certain citizens from marrying based on their choice of partner.

Anyways, this has turned out to be quite a long post. I’m not sure how disjointed it is but at least I learned some new stuff. I’m also more glad now that I’m Canadian (not that I wasn’t before).

I'm an Uncle!!! (agian)

2006-07-29T12:58:00.000-06:00

Mom woke me up at 5:00 this morning to say that my sister was in labour so I drove into town to stay with my 19 month old nephew while his mom and dad headed to the hospital around 6:00. So I spent the morning learning about signs from Blue's Clues and my nephew said "backpack" as clear as day when he saw Dora's backpack (yum yum yum deliciosa). It's kind of funny because I get Mamoo and his toys are all either aball or ahda. Mom called around 10:30 to say it was all over. My 2nd nephew was born around 9:30 after less than ten minutes of pushing. My sister did it so fast the epidural didn't even have time to kick in. She's a trouper though. Maybe it's the combination of our tough Irish blood from my Dad's side and our stoic mennonite background from my Mom's side.

Hollywood Conspiracies

2006-07-28T21:50:00.000-06:00

I was going to post about something political but I think I need to do more research first so that I at least sound somewhat intelligent and not just another windbag.

So instead of a windbag I’ll be an airhead for a minute. I know teen flicks are supposed to be lame but I usually like them. It’s nice to dream about an ideal world where everyone’s attractive, drives a sports car that their parents bought for them, and everyone learns a valuable life lesson and makes up with everybody by the end. As long as you go in with the understanding that it’s not supposed to be realistic you can just sit back and enjoy the eye candy. There’s usually something for everybody so if you happen to be with people who may not be aware of your particular preferences they can just assume that your drooling because of the leading man’s female counter parts and everyone goes home happy. You can also usually add to your collection of witty sayings or corny jokes. Carbon and Oxygen walk into a pub and they see gold standing at the bar and they yell “eh you, get out a here”. It’s funny cause Au is the chemical symbol for gold…..

Umm yeah. So N E ways….. moving on...

So my friend "A" and I went to see John Tucker Must Die tonight (hence the topic for this post and the pics). The title character, John Tucker, is played by the very hot Jesse Metcalfe. He just has this je ne sais quoi about him. That smile, those eyes. Yummy. Of course everyone expects the main character to be attractive. I think Hollywood must be trying to depress everybody though because John Tucker’s younger brother is supposed to be less attractive and not as popular and they go and cast somebody like Penn Badgley. If he’s not hot then I guess that would make me pimple puss or something. Is it just me or is the not-so-hot guy just as hot as the hot guy? It’s a toss up for me. Do I have to choose?

On snobbery and acceptance

2006-07-27T23:01:00.000-06:00

I am a snob. There I said it. They say that admitting it is the first step. I try not to be but for some reason I think that I’m better than everyone else. I know it’s not true though. You wouldn’t have to look far to find someone who is better than me in most things. I was never the top of my class (near the top but not the top), never the most athletic (I’m ok but far from the best), and artistically I’m only so so as well. You could say I don’t really excel or suck at anything. I’m just an all around average guy. Even though I acknowledge my mediocrity, for some reason I still look at people and assume that I’m better than them. I know in my head that it’s not true but somehow it’s become my default setting and I need to remind myself that I’m not better just different. I also know that we tend to project our traits on other people so because I see myself as snobby I assume that other people will be too. That’s why I was a little worried making my blogroll because in my head I hear these people saying “Who’s this punk and what does he think he’s doing linking to my site?”

Because I think like this, it was really cool to see world renowned blogger Darin leave a comment welcoming me to the blogosphere. I feel like there should be an award or something for being the first commenter on my site but unfortunately I am an unemployed recent college graduate still living in his parents’ house (sad I know but I’m working on it). I really enjoy Darin’s blog All Preparation and No H. It’s fun and light-hearted for the most part and because he’s an ESTP he sees things the way I do. Of course as an ISTP I’m happy to sit at home and read about his adventures instead of going out and having my own.

I found Darin’s blog through Scotty’s blog The Other Side of Straight. I like this blog because it gives me hope. The dynamic between Scotty and Joel is really great which gives me hope that someday somewhere I might find that too. Also Scotty has a similar religious background and the way his parents have come around gives me hope as well. I’m going through some of what he’s been through with more ahead I’m sure, so reading about how someone else dealt with it and that things are working out is really encouraging.

Another blog I found through Scotty’s is Fresh N Tasty. Donnie always has something to entertain or ponder and if he doesn’t he’s kind enough to leave a little something for his readers until he returns. There’s something about listening to Donnie’s podcasts. I can picture myself curled up next to him while he sips his Fresca and shares what’s on his mind. I’m not sure how compatible we would actually be in real life but I am a good listener and I enjoy having my head rubbed so if our paths ever cross in the “real world” I probably wouldn’t turn him down if he invited me under his covers and wanted to tell me about his day. For now though, I'll just have to settle for listening to him over the internet.

What's in a name?

2006-07-26T21:29:00.000-06:00

I'm not a very decisive person so it's a wonder I've managed to come up with a name for this blog. I started with something else, a title that my friend uses to describe me, but I changed my mind 'cause I'm not sure if it might come up in a web search and I'm not ready for people in my personal life to read this. Not that I will be writing a lot here. I'm not a huge fan of writing but I might stick up the occasional post. We shall see. One of my main reasons for finally doing this is I really enjoy reading blogs and I couldn't find a tool that tracks updates to blogs that wasn't part of a blog so I thought I'd give it a try.

So, to the name. My friend often refers to me as a *mainstream nonconformist*. I agree with her within the context of our lives. Neither of us up to this point has had much of a life outside of church. Our church is very conservative. Organ and piano only for music, hymns only for congregational singing, no hand held mics, ladies wear dresses, men wear shirts and ties if not a suit, etc... The reason I say within the context of our lives is because my nonconformity consists of wearing loud ties and questioning whether or not our deacons are actually a board of elders (for some reason Baptists seem to take pride in the fact that they have deacons and not elders when deacons in the NT were responsible for the poor and widows not governing the church like our “deacons” do). The mainstream part comes into play because while my tie may be loud, I’m still wearing a tie. Anyways, because of this my friend usually gets me a birthday or Christmas card along this theme. When I was going through boxes the other day I came across one of these cards. It had lady bugs all over the front and off to one side was a single blue one. Inside it said to my colourful friend. So that’s me, the blue bug in a sea of red.

I guess I’ve been doubting the nonconformist part lately because I’ve been exploring more outside of my circle. I’m realizing that I’m not as unique as I thought I was. It’s kind of like going from Junior High to High School. My life is pretty mainstream compared to so many of the lives I’ve been reading about on the blogs of other gay men. Oh, did I forget to mention that? Yeah I’m gay (a major influence on my nonconformist tendencies I think). At the same time I’m not really a mainstream gay either. I don’t get the whole Cher thing and I’m sure there’s a ton of other gay icons that I’m supposed to know about. I ‘m also not so much into the wild rampant sex thing, I don’t like alcohol or drugs, and drag queens make me uncomfortable. So I guess I can still be a mainstream nonconformist after all.